


The Story of Us That Never Was

by caramiro



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Other Fandoms Not Mentioned in Tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-12-30 07:19:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18310835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramiro/pseuds/caramiro
Summary: Rising musical actor Jisung and music student Jaehwan struggle to figure out their relationship. Some things just aren’t meant to be, no matter how much they try fighting fate.





	The Story of Us That Never Was

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [kpopolymfics2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/kpopolymfics2019) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
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>  **Nell – "Let’s Part"**  
> [lyrics](https://popgasa.com/2018/11/14/nell-lets-part-%ED%97%A4%EC%96%B4%EC%A7%80%EA%B8%B0%EB%A1%9C%ED%95%B4/) **|** [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jsb-O-myTI0) **|** [supplementary](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/f3/c5/6b/f3c56bf258e40b16382368ffb993e8a4.jpg) \- [prompts](https://www.flickr.com/photos/passant_58/6772405425/)  
> This fic was written for K-Pop Olymfics 2019 as part of Team Alternate Universe 2. Olymfics is a challenge in which participants write fics based on prompt sets and compete against other teams of writers, organized by genre. Competition winners are chosen by the readers, so please rate this fic using [this survey](https://forms.gle/mDcvm9LTb61d8LnGA)!

Apparently, no one remembers that Jisung doesn’t accept phone calls from anyone until eight in the morning. That’s the only reason Jisung can think of as to why someone would be calling him this early. It would have been easier for him to ignore the call and say that he was on the train later on. However, the vibrating in his bag is getting frustrating and is interrupting whatever sleep he’ll attempt to get on the train. Jisung sighs and mentally reminds himself not to murder whoever this idiot is.

 

“Yoon Jisung! Why haven’t you been picking up?” His co-star’s voice yells into his ears. Just what he needed at six in the morning. Wonderful.

 

“Good morning to you too, Miss Kwon Boa,” Jisung says with fake cheeriness as he greets his friend and fellow actress. “I was getting in the train station on my way to school. You know how it gets at this time.”

 

“Cut the attitude, Jisung. Have you had your coffee yet?” Boa’s tone changes from irritation to concern before Jisung can even blink. “You sound like shit. Did you stay up all night again?”

 

“Thanks. I feel like it too.” Jisung snorts. “I was at the cast party last night in honor of a successful _The Days_ run, in case you forgot. You were there too, remember?”

 

Jisung can practically see Boa rolling her eyes as she sighs. “Oh right. I wasn’t able to party much since I was too busy babysitting the rest of you. Anyway, did you get my message?”

 

Jisung knows which message she’s talking about, but he hasn’t been able to attend to it due to prior commitments. He hasn’t even read it in detail, so he decides it’s better not to totally lie to her.

 

When he says nothing, Boa takes that as her cue to continue. “Anyway, the production team at London has been asking me whether you’re taking the role! Apparently, we’re some of the few among the foreign cast who haven’t replied yet!”

 

Jisung sighs. “Will I still be able to submit everything on time? And how did the higher-ups at EMK take it though? Considering we were already both cast for _Elisabeth_?”

 

“Don’t worry about that! The bosses at EMK all but told me to go forth and take West End when I told them. I guess that’s the same for you,” Boa says with a chuckle before turning serious again. “We only have three months left! If you keep putting this off, I’ll be forced to submit my confirmation without you! You might even lose this!”

 

“I haven’t been able to get an appointment with the dean,” Jisung sighs. “I’ll have to set one first. Can I call you tomorrow at the latest? I still have to file some paperwork at school. I don’t know whether they can process it ASAP.”

 

“Just do it, Jisung! We need that endorsement for your visa! Or else I’ll just do it without you! God forbid your role ends up going to someone else! Do you want to do this or not?”

 

Before Jisung can answer that, Boa cuts him off again. “Never mind. That was rhetorical. Just get the dean to sign that got damned endorsement ASAP.”

 

“Yes, Mom.”

 

“Alright! Alright! I gotta go now! I have to start warming up. It’s another day of teaching choreography to the ensemble. Get that endorsement! See you, Jisung!”

 

“See you too! Bye!”

 

Jisung stuffs his phone in his bag before he enters the train station. He’ll deal with his West End musical stuff later. Right now, he needs to make it to school on time, or else he’s going to be late for class again.

 

* * *

 

Jaehwan taps his foot against the ground, distracting himself with the song playing through his earphones. This always happens. He wakes up early, leaves his house early, only to be left waiting for at least 20 minutes at the train station. One of these days, he swears he’ll stop waiting and just get on the first train that can take him to school on time. 

 

Jaehwan has lost track of how many songs have passed since he last checked the time. He has stopped tapping his feet and sending messages by now. He doesn’t bother looking at the clock anymore, knowing that looking at it will make time move even more slowly than it already does. 

 

There’s a lot he had to do today: go to class, work on his papers, and complete his Goddamn final musical script. The project had been assigned months ago, and he had already written and recorded some songs for it. His main problem is the ending. His professor is a perfectionist who has weird taste in things, especially in music. His recommendations for music varies every time Jaehwan consults him. Jaehwan had considered just trolling his teacher in his final project, but he decided against it. He’d end up losing in the long run. 

 

Several trains have passed, and Jaehwan checks his phone again. No messages or missed calls. 

 

Fuck this.

 

That tteokbokki at at the stall nearby is practically calling his name. He sighs as he looks at the contents of his wallet and back at the tteokbokki stall. His shoulders slump in defeat at the realization that he’s about to succumb to capitalism again. He’s lucky that this is probably near the end of his suffering. He’ll be able to get home-cooked meals when his mother comes over.  Jaehwan sighs once again. He and his roommate need to actually try those one-pot recipes they see on the Internet so they can stop relying on street food and convenience store meals. 

 

He gently taps his fingers against the stall as he waits for the stall owner to prepare his tteokbokki. He’s going to be late for his first class. He can only hope that it’s a free cut, or else he’s dead. He accepts the tteokbokki with thanks and he’s about to pay for them when—

 

“How is the tteokbokki?” 

 

Jaehwan all but jumps as he turns to glare at the grinning newcomer. He’s lucky he hadn’t dropped the tteokbokki, or else he would have had to pay for those along with the new ones he would have ordered. 

 

“Let’s go, Jisung,” he deadpans. “I’m going to be late.” 

 

“I’m sowwy I’m wate. I woke up late today.” Jisung is swaying from side to side, pouting as he attempts to make puppy eyes at Jaehwan. To Jaehwan, Jisung resembles an animal that had plastic surgery gone wrong, and the long puffy jacket just adds to the vibe. 

 

“Tteokbokki?” Jaehwan interrupts Jisung’s string of apologies as he shoves the container in Jisung’s hands. He then walks toward the entrance of the train station. 

 

This is practically routine by now. Jaehwan watches as Jisung pays the man at the stall. He snorts when Jisung asks for a drink too. He should have known Jisung would have been cold and thirsty after all that running he did. He never fucking learned. Jaehwan shakes his head and walks faster as Jisung approaches him, food and drink in tow. 

 

“You forgot your tteokbokki,” Jisung says when he finally catches up to Jaehwan. 

 

“Have it. I’m sure you haven’t eaten breakfast yet.” 

 

“I’m sorry for being late. Again,” Jisung says. “And for not replying to your messages.” 

 

Jaehwan just turns back to roll his eyes at Jisung. “You know what? I almost left you,” he snaps. “You always wake up so late. Just because you’re a big shot musical actor now gives you no excuse to be late.” 

 

“Shut up! I’m not a big shot. And no, I don’t ALWAYS wake up so late.” 

 

Jaehwan snorts at that one. “Good thing my professor usually comes in late too. Otherwise I would have missed my midterm exams. Hmm… I bet you forgot that too, huh?” 

 

When Jisung says nothing, Jaehwan sighs and groans about the cold. He’s already gotten it out of his system, and he did wait for Jisung after all. 

 

“Jaehwan. I’m sorry,” Jisung says, pout practically audible in his tone. He then hands a paper cup containing coffee to Jaehwan. “Coffee?” 

 

Jaehwan chuckles as he accepts the cup from Jisung. “I wish I was better at conveying how horrible it is for me not to hate you… when you know I should!” 

 

Jaehwan walks toward the entrance of the train station as he allows Jisung to feed him some of of the tteokbokki. After a few bites, Jaehwan allows Jisung to finish the rest of it while he walks on ahead.  

 

“Jaehwan! Wait!” Jisung says, as he runs to catch up with Jaehwan. “I have your record!” 

 

“What record?” Jaehwan doesn’t recall lending Jisung any of his records. He stops and waits as Jisung pulls something out of his bag. “Here, have some first.” Jaehwan puts the drink close to Jisung’s lips. He can’t help the burst of laughter he lets out when Jisung struggles to drink while pulling a vinyl record case out of his bag. 

 

“No way…” Jaehwan mutters when Jisung puts the huge vinyl record in his hands. He strokes the cover reverently. “Is this Kim Kwangseok’s first solo album? How’d you find it? A signed one at that?” 

 

Jisung shrugs and smiles. “My class went to the Kim Kwangseok memorial at Daegu, remember? I figured you’d want one for your vinyl collection.” 

 

Jaehwan tries not to let his smile show too much. He’s been looking for this album for years. Every vintage record store he’s been to doesn’t have it. Some people tried scamming him online when he asked. He had long given up on ever finding this one, and Jisung just magically pulled through. Jaehwan stares at the album in awe. He can’t believe he’s actually holding Kim Kwangseok’s first album in his hands right now. 

 

“I have mad respect for Kim Kwangseok, and he’s an icon,” Jisung continues. “But seriously, can’t you stan someone from this dec—” 

 

“I love him,” Jaehwan says, interrupting Jisung’s monologue. “That’s all.” 

 

Jisung closes his eyes. “Oh my god. The fanboy has come out.” 

 

“Who’s the one who skipped class just to go to a Davichi fansign? Who’s the fanboy here?” 

 

“At least I didn’t compete in a singing contest just to win a low-end guitar with Kim Kwangseok’s face engraved on it.” 

 

“I competed for the cash,” Jaehwan deadpans. He couldn’t say no to an additional two hundred thousand won. At least that’s what he tells himself. No one needs to know how disappointed he was when the guitar didn’t sound as good as his Crafter or Larrivée ones. “The guitar was a bonus.” 

 

“Sure, Jaehwan.” Jisung playfully rolls his eyes. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” 

 

Jaehwan lets the argument slide in favor of staring at the record. It’s not one people can find easily. “But seriously, I love how emotional Kim Kwangseok’s voice is, and how timeless his lyrics are.” Jaehwan adds with a sigh. “I wish I could sing and write songs like that.” 

 

“Writing is hard. That’s why I focused on performing instead.” Jisung sighs too. “Oh by the way, how’s the thing you’re writing?” 

 

Jaehwan groans. He didn’t need to be reminded of that musical from hell that’s due soon. “I’m halfway done. It’s just the ending I can’t figure out. And I still need to record some of the songs,” he begins. He takes a breath before he continues. Once he’s started ranting about this project, it’s difficult to stop him. “I also feel like revising the plot and the setting. I feel like magic realism isn’t my teacher’s cup of tea… I doubt he’d appreciate me writing rock music for this project again, since I’ve been doing that all term long. Why’d it have to be a god-damned love story?”  

 

Jisung snorts. “Well, Mr. Kim…” 

 

“What is it, Mr. Yoon?” Jaehwan asks before laughing. 

 

“Well, you know…” Jisung chuckles back. 

 

“Well, Sir…” Jaehwan teases back. 

 

“Well, it’s all about seeing things differently,” Jisung says. “A shorter time frame for the narrative might help, right?” 

 

“Yeah,” Jaehwan says with a nod. He’s not sure where Jisung is going with this, but he’ll take any help he can get. He’s not in the mood to book an appointment with his professor so close to the deadline. 

 

“The hows, the whys… And remember, character growth is important,” Jisung says, his face lighting up in excitement as he begins to talk. “As for your rock music concern, but you should probably stick to what you know best, as long as the sound isn’t repetitive. The genre doesn’t really matter, as long as it speaks to both you and your audience. But if you want to push your limits, try branching out, into say… tropical house?” 

 

Jaehwan lets out a snort of laughter at that one. He keeps his voice down, since his laughter has been said to be obnoxiously scary. He’s late as it is. He can’t afford to get thrown out of the train station for being too loud. Tropical house? Him? Jaehwan may have been dabbling in the genre, since he’s trying to branch out. His last attempt at tropical house wasn’t well-received at all. Now, he’s just not sure how well he can pull it off. At this point, he’s not sure whether his teacher is a fan of the genre. 

 

“You told me it was a bad idea, remember? Are you changing your mind?” Jaehwan asks, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I’m not the same person I was two weeks ago. I can always change my mind,” Jisung dryly says before they both laugh. 

 

After their laughter dies down, Jisung’s face turns pensieve. “Why don’t you try writing about us?” After a beat, he continues. “That should be easy.” He shrugs. 

 

Does Jisung even know what he’s saying? “Easy?!” Jaehwan asks, his eyes growing wide and his voice raising into a slight scream.  _ Calm down _ , he tells himself. He sighs before looking at Jisung. “Mr. Yoon, you know very well it’s never gonna be easy.” Jaehwan reaches to pinch Jisung’s cheek for good measure. 

 

Jisung chuckles as he dodges Jaehwan’s hands. “Alright. Alright. Writing is difficult.” Jisung then wraps an arm around Jaehwan. “What time do you get out of class later? Let’s have dinner. I owe you.” 

 

“Oooh… Yes, you dooooooo.” Jaehwan lets out a chuckle. Jisung truly knows the way to a broke college boy’s heart. “I get out at around eight, but prayer circle that Sir Hongki lets us out early.” 

 

Jisung smiles and Jaehwan notices that his eyes smile with the rest of his face. “Do you need help with that? Or any of your other classes? So you can finish that script once and for all, Mr. Kim?” 

 

Jaehwan can’t help the laughter bubbling out of his chest. Of course Jisung would offer his help. As much as it’s welcome, academics are something Jaehwan has to handle on his own. “I’ll be fine… I think?” he says. He smirks before adding, “You should use that time to sleep instead. Better make sure that you’re not late tomorrow.” 

 

Jaehwan ignores the affronted face Jisung makes in favor of riling him up even more. “I should probably go with Sewoon one of these days. You’re a pain to wait for every morning!” 

 

“Excuse me?! Am I the only one who’s always late? How about that time you—” 

 

“Yes.” Jaehwan squints his eyes at Jisung. “Yoon Jisung stop talking challenge has to happen sooner or later!” 

 

“What? You want me to shut up? Goodness knows you usually can’t get enough of my voice.” 

 

“Oh my god, Jisung. Do you never shut up?” Jaehwan says as he looks at the record again. 

 

“Excuse you, Jaehwan. I know when to shut up too!” 

 

“Whatever you say…” 

 

They both chuckle at each other, a mutual agreement to drop the topic. 

 

“Here. Have it,” Jisung says, handing the coffee cup to Jaehwan. 

 

“No. That’s yours, keep it.” 

 

“Fine,” Jisung chuckles as he drinks the remaining contents of the cup. “Ugh, it’s so cold…”  

 

Jaehwan groans, as he’s reminded of the cold they’ve been trying to escape. “I know, right?” Using the cold as an excuse, Jaehwan leans closer to Jisung’s touch. 

 

Jaehwan’s eyes wander to the record again. Not many people his age still collect vinyl records. For Jisung to get him one as rare as this means a lot to him. 

 

“Do you like it?” Jisung asks, as if sensing Jaehwan’s thoughts. 

 

Jaehwan smiles fondly. “I do, very much. Thank you.” 

 

“You’re welcome~” 

 

Jaehwan pouts. “Are we okay now?” 

 

Jisung shrugs, while raising a playful eyebrow at him. “Are we?” 

 

“If you’re genuinely sorry.” 

 

Jisung rolls his eyes. “Yes. Yes. I’m genuinely sorry. I’m not going to do that again.” 

 

Jaehwan snorts and shakes his head. “We’ll see about that.” 

 

They finally manage to enter a train that will take them to campus. Jaehwan pulls out one of his printouts to read during the train ride. He had already read them last night, but it’s best to have all his bases covered. He doesn’t want Miss Yumi to catch him unprepared for recitation. 

 

“Keep that first, Jaehwan. You can continue reading later.” 

 

Jaehwan rolls his eyes as Jisung’s fingers get in the way of the text he’s reading. Sometimes, Jisung can be a bit of a mother hen, but Jaehwan does as Jisung says anyway. “Ugh, you can be a bit dramatic sometimes.” 

 

“Better to be safe than sorry,” Jisung mutters. “You might throw up here, and we don’t want that.” 

 

“Fine. You’re right.” Jaehwan sighs and rolls his eyes again. Why does Jisung have to have a point all the time? 

 

Jaehwan decides to look for his earphones instead. “Oh yeah, I have a surprise for you too,” he says to Jisung. 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“Kang Minkyung’s autograph.” 

 

Jisung’s eyes grow comically wide at this. “WHAT?” he whispers inside the train. 

 

Jaehwan snorts as he finally finds his headphones and connects them to his phone. “I was just messing with you. Fanboy.” He only notices Jisung’s exasperation before turning on his music. 

 

Jaehwan smiles at the offered hand before he takes it, linking their fingers together. It’s nice to be able to do this. They don’t get to hold hands a lot in school. They both may not be into the whole PDA thing, but Jaehwan likes these little moments they share. He rests his head on Jisung’s shoulders as he enjoys the song playing from his earphones. 

 

Jaehwan has no idea when he’s fallen asleep, but the next thing he knows is that Jisung is poking him awake. 

 

“We’re here, sleepyhead,” Jisung whispers while shaking him awake. 

 

Jaehwan groans as attempts to stretch his back. They let go of each other’s hands as they get off the train and walk together toward campus. They walk at least two feet apart, so it’s not very obvious that they arrived together. Jaehwan isn’t in the mood for anyone to see them like this. Especially not when there are so many people. He doesn’t feel like answering any prying, too-close-for-comfort questions. Especially not when the performing arts department’s rumor mill easily goes amok at the first sign of scandal. 

 

Jisung sighs. “I got a call about my London musical.” 

 

Jaehwan blinks in confusion until he remembers what Jisung is talking about. It’s hard being awake before seven in the morning. “Oh yeah. I forgot about that.” It’s hard keeping the sadness out of Jaehwan’s voice. “Yeah. When are you supposed to leave again?”

 

“As soon as I get the dean’s endorsement,” Jisung says with a sigh. “And I still have to finish the rest of the term.” 

 

Jaehwan sighs. He doesn’t bother saying anything else. 

 

“Congrats on the Juilliard acceptance, by the way,” Jisung says with a smirk. “Not many get accepted to the masters’ program on their first try. Let alone on a full scholarship.” 

 

Jaehwan’s eyes grow wide. He hadn’t told anyone other than his family and his roommate (who had been rudely awakened by Jaehwan’s loud screeching at the acceptance) about that. He hadn’t even posted a screencap of the acceptance email on Facebook yet. He turns to Jisung. “How did you—” He sighs before rolling his eyes. “Wait. Forget that thought. You know everything first.” 

 

Jisung stares at him, his eyes unusually cold. “When were you planning to tell me?” 

 

Jaehwan says nothing. He’s been meaning to tell Jisung, but when? He doesn’t really know. He probably never would have until he decided what he wanted to do. 

 

“Jaehwan. Answer me. When?” 

 

Jaehwan shrugs. He’s not in the mood to talk about it yet. “Soon, I guess.” 

 

“So what’s your plan now?” Jisung seems to be oblivious or just not give any fuck about Jaehwan’s discomfort as he presses on. “What will you do about things?” 

 

“What do you mean?” Why does Jisung like having difficult conversations at the wrong times?  The campus is within sight, and for once, Jaehwan is relieved for a chance to evade Jisung for the rest of the day. 

 

“What’s your plan, Jaehwan?” 

 

Jaehwan sighs. “I don’t want to think about it just yet.” He runs for the school gates before Jisung can catch up and press him about the issue any further.

 

* * *

 

By the time Jisung reaches the school gates, Jaehwan has already blended with the rest of the campus’ population. Jisung’s about to run after him when a voice interrupts his thoughts. A loud, cheerful shout of his name is the only warning Jisung gets before a familiar weight tackles him from behind. 

 

“God damn it, Daniel,” Jisung curses once the taller man gets off him. “It’s too early for this. And we’re at school. Where’s your sense of etiquette?” 

 

“If my mom didn’t pack it, then I left it in Busan,” Daniel chuckles before he gets off Jisung’s back. Daniel slings an arm around Jisung’s shoulders instead. “Anyway! We’re busking at Hongdae tonight,” he says casually. “I was going to ask if you could come watch.” 

 

Jisung sees no harm in going out after class, so he shrugs. “Sure. Why not?” 

 

Daniel just breaks out into a wide smile. “Perfect!” He then grabs onto Jisung’s arm and shakes it. “You can also do my makeup before our set. I want both Seongwoo and casting agents to notice meeee.” 

 

Jisung snorts. He should have known Daniel only ambuses him like this when the latter needs something from the former. 

 

“Where’s my jacket from the last time you performed?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at Daniel. “Besides, I think Seongwoo likes you, but he’s just playing hard to get. As for the casting agents, just keep doing your best all the time. You never know who’ll spot you.” 

 

“Meh. I doubt it. He hangs out with the likes of Lee Dongmin and Hwang Minhyun. Do you think he’d notice someone like me?!” Daniel all but groans. “Anyway, your jacket’s upstairs. I’ll give it back later.” 

 

“Fine. I’ll do your makeup and help you choose your outfits later,” Jisung sighs. “And when I’m done with you, Ong Seongwoo will give in. Hook, line, and sinker.” 

 

“This is why I love you, Jisung. Come here and get some love!” Daniel swoops in for the kill, only for Jisung to shove him in the face. 

 

Jisung chuckles before he shoves Daniel off completely. “I don’t want your dog slobber all over my face. Get off me!” 

 

Daniel pouts at Jisung. “But I just wanted to show you my love.” 

 

Jisung rolls his eyes before dragging Daniel with him. “Come on, we better get to class.”

 

* * *

  

Jaehwan quietly makes his way to the registrar’s office. He might as well ask for the documents Juilliard needs him to submit. It’s all started with a dream of wanting to sing on stage. However, as he grew older, he realized that he was more in love with the details behind the music rather than being in the spotlight. He still wants to sing, but he has given up his childhood dream of being an idol. All he wants is to be able to touch people’s hearts with his music.  

 

Jaehwan just doesn’t understand why Jisung is bugging him about this Juilliard thing when Jisung himself keeps procrastinating that endorsement from the dean regarding West End. Jaehwan sighs as he plops down on the couch. 

 

“Hey,” a soft voice whispers in his ear. 

 

Jaehwan lets out a scream as he falls off the couch in shock. As he turns to glare at the offender, he looks up at the smiling face of his best friend and roommate Sewoon. 

 

“What the fuck?” Jaehwan hisses as he sits back on the couch. 

 

“You looked deep in thought,” Sewoon admits with a chuckle as he rests his head on Jaehwan’s shoulder. “I couldn’t resist.” 

 

“You’re evil,” Jaehwan snickers as he rests his head on top of Sewoon’s. “What are you doing here anyway?” 

 

Before Sewoon can answer, another person enters the room. “Hey! Jaehwan! Sewoon.” 

 

“Oh, hey, Daniel,” Jaehwan says without bothering to move from his spot. “What brings you here?” 

 

Daniel makes a face. “I was going to request for some documents from Miss Park.” 

 

Sewoon sighs. “Yeah. We’re waiting for her too. Starship asked for proof I’m graduating this February, so I thought I’d ask for the documents,” Sewoon explains with a small smile. 

 

Sewoon received a job offer as an in-house songwriter and vocal coach at one of the country’s better-known entertainment companies. Sure, it isn’t the top-tier ones like SM, YG, and JYP, but Starship is respectable enough in its own right. Jaehwan smiles at the thought of his friend gossiping about future idols. If only he wasn’t that scared about his own future. 

 

“Congrats to you both, by the way,” Daniel says, smiling with all his teeth at them both. “The whole school’s about to know, Jaehwan. I saw the printing press preparing a huge-ass congratulations message for you and a few others.” 

 

“Nice to know the school finally acknowledges that I’m a king.” Jaehwan laughs before burying his face in his hands. Looks like the cat is officially out of the bag. He’s going to have to make a decision about this sooner or later. 

 

“Have any of you seen Seongwoo though?” Daniel asks. “I need him to book the dance studio so we can start planning our final performance. I also don’t have Sir Jaeseung’s signature.” 

 

Jaehwan’s and Sewoon’s eyes meet before they both snort in chorus. Daniel and Seongwoo’s slow-burn push-and-pull relationship is the talk of the entire performing arts department. The two of them being paired up to work on their final project was absolutely not coincidental. 

 

“Not yet. We’re supposed to meet him later for the music video project thing,” Jaehwan replies. He smirks before continuing. “You know what, I actually saw Mr. Kwon earlier! He was heading to the faculty room. Why don’t you go there yourself instead of making Seongwoo do it?” 

 

Daniel pouts at them both, complete with the puppy eyes. Unlike Jisung, Daniel actually looks pitiful. “Damn. You guys are always mean to me.” 

 

Sewoon softly clears his throat. “I would like to be excluded from this narrative. Thank you very much.” 

 

Daniel rolls his eyes while Jaehwan snorts. “Fine. Jaehwan and Seongwoo are always mean to me.” 

 

Jaehwan sighs before he makes a face at Daniel. “Seongwoo was ranting about how you bailed on him at practice last night. Came crashing and demanded food while I was writing my review of  _ The Days _ for class.” 

 

Daniel groans. “I already told him why! Sir Jaeseung let us out late! You can even ask Soonyoung!” 

 

Jaehwan looks at Sewoon and rolls his eyes. “Sure, whatever you say, Daniel…” 

 

“You also owe Seongwoo dinner,” Sewoon adds. 

 

Daniel groans as he puts his head in his hands. “Maybe after our performance tonight.” 

 

“Where will you be performing again?” Jaehwan asks, glad for the change in topic.  

 

“We’ll be at the usual spot in Hongdae,” Daniel says. “I will be performing after practice.” 

 

“What time do you perform? We might still be in class,” Sewoon says, making a face. They’ve always wanted to watch Daniel busk at Hongdae. However, they have night classes, making them unable to watch. 

 

“I’ll be performing at six-ish? I’ll double check with my dance crew. I just know I have to leave as soon as our class with Sir Seunggi is over. We’ll be having chicken and beer after though. At the usual place. You can catch up there after class,” Daniel says, patting them both on the back. “Why you two took up sound production, I will never understand.” 

 

“We do it for love, Daniel,” Sewoon dryly replies. “At least, I’m studying what I love so I can keep on doing something I love.” 

 

“I actually have an audition next week,” Daniel sighs. Jaehwan and Sewoon look at each other with wide eyes. Apparently, none of them have heard of this. “But I’m not sure whether that will lead to anything… Considering how old we are now. That’s why I didn’t want to tell anyone. It could just be false hope again.” Jaehwan sighs as he pats Daniel on the back. They’re all too familiar with Daniel’s woes. “If this audition bombs in my face, at least I know enough to be able to teach kids to dance. One of them can go fulfill the dream I couldn’t reach...” 

 

“That’s true,” Jaehwan mutters under his breath. “But good luck on that audition all the same.” 

 

Sewoon seems to be at ease with his future. Daniel has come to terms with it, and has backup plans in case of failure. How does it come so easily to them while Jaehwan is afraid to make a choice? When it comes to his future, taking risks isn’t something he’s good at. He tends to be a meticulous planner when it comes to performing, his work, and anything related to music. The last time he had ever thrown caution to the wind was when he said “Yes” to Jisung… It’s a bit of a whirlwind, but there’s a feeling of comfort despite the chaos surrounding them both. However, his future is just one giant void. Is this even worth it? Jaehwan doesn’t know. 

 

They all jump at the sound of the door opening. Daniel moves to open the door wider for Miss Park, who has finally arrived. Sewoon stands up to explain why he’s there. Daniel then moves to sit next to Jaehwan. 

 

“Thanks ,” Daniel says smiling fondly at Jaehwan. “For putting up with my crap about Seongwoo.” 

 

“Anything for you, Daniel,” Jaehwan croons with a smile. “Besides, that mutual pining is getting out of hand.” Before Daniel can protest, Jaehwan notices that Sewoon’s on his way back to them. “Oh! I guess that’s my cue. And don’t forget to book that studio. I don’t want an angry Seongwoo to come crashing in our room again.” 

 

As Jaehwan walks over to Miss Park’s desk, he hears Sewoon snickering at Daniel, who is now lying down on the remaining space on the couch.

 

* * *

  
It’s not like Jisung will miss anything important today. All they’re doing is practicing for the play they’ll be presenting in the finals. There’s nothing important for Jisung to do. This is probably why he agreed to ditch class and head up to the roofdeck with Daniel, who is on his phone.

 

“Hey, Jisung,” Daniel says shoving his phone at Jisung’s face. “I made you a Tinder account! Time to get you back on the dating market!”

 

Jisung rolls his eyes. He should have known. “How many many times have I told you?! I’m not interested in getting on Tinder or in a relationship.”

 

“You’re no fun,” Daniel pouts as he puts away his phone. “Is your class done?”

 

Jisung hums. “Nah. It’s just practice for finals. I’m not needed… You? Why are you up here at the roofdeck so early?”

 

Daniel chuckles. “Sir Seokhoon let us out early today. He just left us stuff to submit next week. I’m a good boy, Jisung!”

 

Jisung snorts. “Sounds fake, but okay.”

 

Daniel pretends not to have heard his comment, since he immediately launches to his next topic. “My last class ends at 4:30, so we can do hair and makeup either at Hongdae or here. Whichever you prefer.”

 

Jisung stares at Daniel, before he remembers he promised Jaehwan dinner tonight. He just hopes Jaehwan’s okay with having Daniel tag along. “Can Jaehwan come along?”

 

“Jaehwan?” Daniel asks after a long pause. “Why? I mean, he’s my friend and all… but… why?” Daniel pauses again. Jisung watches Daniel’s eyes go wide. “Is there something I need to know?”

 

Jisung says nothing as he leans over one of the railings and stares at the view below them. He allows Daniel to process the unspoken information as he tries figuring out where to begin.

 

“You know what? Fuck you,” Daniel says as he punches Jisung in the shoulder. Jisung simply lets Daniel do what he wants. Perhaps he deserves it. “You fucking idiot. Jaehwan?! Really?!”

 

Jisung knew this was going to happen. That’s why he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to tell anyone. “I didn’t know how to tell you…” he sighs.

 

“You know that he’s heading to America by the end of the year! And you’re—” Daniel scratches his head and screams. Jisung would fear for his friend’s scalp if he wasn’t busy fearing for his own life. Jisung simply sighs and looks into the void.

 

Daniel groans once he’s run out of things to say. “You fucking idiot.”

 

Jisung sighs as he steps away from the railing. “I’m sorry.”

 

Daniel lets out one more frustrated scream before he schools his face into something less murderous. Jisung supposes it’s better than outright pushing him off the railings.

 

“So what’s the plan, Jisung?” Daniel asks, raising an eyebrow. “Is Jaehwan going to reject the scholarship? Are you ditching the London musical?”

 

Jisung shrugs. “I don’t know.”

 

Daniel rolls his eyes. “There. That’s the problem. You’re smart, but you tend to have moments of stupidity.” Jisung sighs and rolls his eyes. He doesn’t bother arguing back since he deserves this after all.

 

“Think, Jisung! Think!” Daniel says pointing to his temple. Jisung’s not going to lie. This is rather hypocritical of Daniel. “I know I always told you to live a little, but not like this! God damn it, Jisung! You always told me to make good life choices… and yet you...” Daniel shakes his head.

 

“You know how this is going to end for you both, right?” Daniel whispers.

 

“Of course I do!” Jisung snaps. The thought of how this can end for them looms over his head every single day. Jisung just chooses to ignore it, since he thinks it’s better to have given it a shot than to never know. He always told himself that Jaehwan was worth it, but does Jaehwan feel the same?

 

“You know what, Jisung? Listen,” Daniel says, interrupting Jisung’s train of thought. It’s not like Daniel to be this serious, but it’s not like Jisung to pull a stunt like this either. Jisung sighs as he listens to what Daniel has to say.

 

“Fuck you.”

 

Jisung groans. “Damn it, Daniel! I was expecting you were going to say something that was actually important.”

 

Daniel rolls his eyes and sticks up a finger at him as the timer in Jisung’s phone goes off. Oh well. Time to get back to class before people notice he’s gone. “I’ll head back now, Daniel. I’ll see you later. I’ll also try talking to Jaehwan later.”

 

“Jaehwan said he’ll be at the recording studio. You should find him there.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Jisung waves at Daniel, who only grunts at him, before he heads down the roofdeck and back to his classroom. Everyone’s so engrossed with play rehearsals that no one notices him slip back inside. He tries not to think of the conversation he and Jaehwan need to have soon and offers help to those who need it.  
  


* * *

   
“Jaehwan are you ready?”

 

Jaehwan nods from inside the studio’s live room. It’s not his first time to record an original song, so he’s not feeling particularly scared. Despite doing this several times before, Jaehwan still finds it rather unnerving that there’s a teacher who will judge him for his singing, if not the content of his songs.  

 

“Okay… One… Two… Start!”

 

Jaehwan hears nothing but the his self-composed backtrack play. “We’ll meet again when the spring breeze passes. I’ll smile brightly when the spring breeze passes.”

 

Just as Jaehwan’s about to sing the next part of the song, the instrumental in his ears gets cut off. All he gets in return is a groan from Sewoon. Jaehwan takes that as his cue to enter the control booth where Sewoon will probably tell him what happened.

 

“I can barely hear you,” Sewoon groans, lifting the headphones that are hanging on his neck. “And oh, you were a bit flat in that opening line.”

 

Jaehwan frowns. That’s odd. “Like this? We’ll meet again.” He tilts his head to the side. “How’s that?”

 

“A little better than the one you did earlier,” Sewoon says with a nod.

 

Before Jaehwan can go back to the live room, a voice cuts them off.

 

“Until what time will you be using the room, Jaehwan?”

 

Jaehwan turns to see Jisung sitting on one of the chairs behind Sewoon. Honestly, after that conversation this morning, Jaehwan’s still not in the mood to deal with Jisung again. He’s just going to be pressed about the scholarship again. He sighs, as he lingers in front of the live room. “We’ll be here until noon. What are you doing here though?”

 

Jisung shrugs. “I have to book the studio for tomorrow. The entire class will kill me if I don’t.” Despite himself, Jaehwan snorts. He may not be happy with the man, but he won’t deny that Jisung’s got a sense of humor.

 

“Since you’re already in here,” Sewoon says as if sensing the tension between them. “Can you help us with the settings? Jaehwan and I could barely hear each other when we’re recording.”

 

Jisung nods. “Give it here.” Jisung then sits down in front of the control booth, fiddling with a few buttons. While he’s fixing the settings, he turns to Jaehwan. “Did you get my message?”

 

Jaehwan nods. He had read it, but he’d like to delay this for as long as he can. “Can we just meet later? I have to finish this, and I still have to submit this recording. Is that okay?”

 

Jisung sighs. At this rate, he’ll take what he can get. “Okay.”

 

Jaehwan’s hand holds onto the doorknob to the live room when Jisung speaks up again.

 

“Daniel’s got a dance performance later. He’s checking whether you guys want to join us for chicken and beer after your class is done.”

 

There’s so much he has to do at home, and he’s not exactly in the mood to be with Jisung. Especially now that he knows about Juilliard. Before Jaehwan can even react, Sewoon nods. “Daniel already invited us. We’ll be there later.”

 

Jaehwan throws Sewoon the most betrayed look he can muster when Jisung smiles. “Great. I’ll see you two then!” He stands up and excuses himself.

 

“Am I allowed to go back to the live room now?” Jaehwan deadpans at Sewoon who nods.

 

“You go get warmed up. I just have to ask something!”

 

* * *

 

Jisung hadn’t gotten very far when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to see Sewoon staring back at him, pointing to the mixing console. 

 

Sewoon takes a deep breath. “I just want you to know that if things were different, you would have been perfect for Jaehwan. I just hope you two figure things out...” He has a wistful look in his eyes as he sighs. Before Jisung can comment on it, Sewoon blinks and it’s gone. 

 

“Oh right! The mixing console! How do you fix its settings again?” 

 

“Give it here, Sewoon,” Jisung says with a fond chuckle as he demonstrates how to fix the settings. “There you go. It’s fine to use now.” 

 

“Thank you!” Sewoon says as he sees Jisung out of the studio.

 

Jisung looks at the time. He might as well head to the cafeteria for a light snack. The tteokbokki from this morning wasn’t enough. Jisung settles for a sandwich, and is about to go for a seat at the back when a voice calls his name. 

 

He turns around to see some of his friends from the performing arts department have gathered at one table.

 

“Jisung! Come sit with us!” Joohyun calls out. Jisung obliges, because no one is foolish enough to say no to her anyway. 

 

Once he’s settled, Taekwoon claps a hand on Jisung’s shoulder. “Congratulations, Jisung! I saw your musical last week! You were brilliant onstage!” 

 

“Thanks,” Jisung says, his cheeks flushing. Taekwoon isn’t one to dole out praises easily. 

 

“How long is the musical running?” Moonbyul asks. “Would I still be able to get tickets to see you act?” 

 

“The showing Taekwoon went to last week was the last one,” Junmyeon replies. He also happened to be Jisung’s castmate in their last production. Jisung’s not going to lie. It was a little weird to be working with one of his idols at first, but then he has come to be more comfortable around the kind, but strict Junmyeon. 

 

Jisung chuckles. He rarely hears praise like this from the people in this department. After all, they’re among the best-trained, most nitpicky and highly competitive artists Jisung has ever heard of. And he works as a musical actor!  

 

“Speaking of which!” Taekwoon says, catching everyone’s attention. “How’s the West End production going? Did you confirm that you’ll be taking the role?” 

 

Jisung sighs. He should have known this is what they’d want to talk to him about. “I’m still thinking about it.” He gives them all a sheepish smile. 

 

“If I were you, I’d take it,” Junmyeon says decisively. “Not everyone gets that kind of opportunity.” 

 

Taekwoon nods next to him, muttering “I know right.”

 

Jisung nods. It’s not like he hadn’t heard that a thousand times before. “But I’m also still waiting for the Dean’s endorsement. I also have to finish a few things before I deal with that.”  

 

Joohyun lets out an exasperated sigh. “What’s stopping you? The school?” She snorts as she looks around the place. “You can always come back here if West End doesn’t work out for you.” 

 

“Take it from someone who’s been there before, Jisung,” Junmyeon says with a rare smile. “Once you get there, you’re never going to want to come back here unless you have to.” 

 

Jisung makes a face. Junmyeon had been doing well in London as a musical actor until he had to return to the country for mandatory military duty three years ago. 

 

“At least I already fulfilled my duty, so I guess I don’t have to worry about that,” Jisung mutters loud enough for the table to hear. 

 

“You are a smart man, Jisung,” Taekwoon says with a chuckle. “I wish I thought to do that early. Now I’m just waiting for the draft notice to come anytime.” 

 

“Well, Jisung? If nothing’s holding you back, then why are you still hesitating?” Joohyun presses. 

 

It’s not that… Jisung wants to say, but he doesn’t. None of them would understand. After all, they’re all driven and ambitious. He knows he is like that too… That’s why he auditioned for the role in that West End production in the first place. 

 

“I’m just worried it won’t work out,” he admits out loud for the first time. “It’s unlike anything I’ve done before, and I’m scared that when I come back… There’s no more room for me.” 

 

Moonbyul smiles. “That’s why you have to do well over there,” she says. 

 

“So you do intend to replace me once I leave,” Jisung jokes, raising an eyebrow at them. He mutters a quick apology before schooling his face into a neutral mask. 

 

“Yes, and no,” Junmyeon shrugs. “It’s more of making a splash over there, so people here don’t forget you. You’ll be amazing, Jisung. Have more faith in yourself.” 

 

Jisung slowly nods. He gets what Junmyeon means, but he’s not sure he can pull it off. 

 

“Listen, Jisung,” Junmyeon says, putting a hand on his shoulder. “We get that you’re scared, but if you’re not scared… Would it truly be worth it?” 

 

Performing in London has always been a dream, and he’s one step closer to reaching it. He just never imagined that being so close to his dreams was going to be this stressful and messy. Is he even ready to do this? 

 

After a short moment of silence, Joohyun asks, “Want a cookie?” and everyone bursts out laughing. 

 

Joohyun was famous for being a good baker, and she always gave out cookies to everyone in her classes whenever she could. However, Jisung has spotted Jaehwan from the corner of his eye. Jisung declines, gesturing to his own sandwich. He discreetly sets aside this things, and starts to move.  

 

“I swear to god, Yoon Jisung,” Joohyun growls. “Take a damned cookie, or I will throw these out the window.” 

 

Jisung chuckles. “Fine, fine,” he says as he takes several cookies to humor the woman. He might as well share some with Jaehwan. 

 

“I’ll go ahead,” Jisung says, finally spotting where Jaehwan had chosen to sit. “I’ll see you all later.” 

 

The rest of the people at the table nod. Before Jisung can go, Junmyeon nudges him one last time. 

 

“Just don’t let that opportunity go to waste, Jisung,” he says with a gentle smile. “That doesn’t need much thought.” 

 

Jisung nods. It’s what he’s been hearing ever since he got the news of that audition. He thanks them all again for their sincere congratulations before heading over to where Jaehwan is hiding.

 

* * *

Jaehwan had purposely chosen a table where there aren’t many prying eyes. It’s also the school’s CCTV’s blind spots. He had looked up the security camera’s blind spots when he was bored back in his first year. He’s not going to be bothered here. He could use some peace and quiet to write the rest of his piece. 

 

He barely hears the chair across him scrape the floor as he writes the next part of the script’s narrative. He goes back and forth between his outline and the music sheet where his score is written. Jaehwan hums it to himself. He shakes his head as he puts down his pencil and reaches for the energy drink across him. He’s about to take a swig but the can is swiped out of his hands. 

 

“You don’t need this,” Jisung says with a chuckle as he puts the can as far away from Jaehwan as possible. Jaehwan pouts at Jisung as he sits across him. 

 

“You’re a good songwriter and singer, Jaehwan,” Jisung continues. “This can just ruin your vocal chords. I know I read it somewhere, but I’d personally advise against this.” 

 

Jaehwan just groans as he gently picks up some of his papers to make space for Jisung’s things. “Thank you, Jisung,” he says with a smile. “I needed that validation.” 

 

“Anything for you,” Jisung says with a smile, trying not to let any tension show in his face. 

 

“How about a drink?” Jaehwan asks. “What do you want?” This is just his way of delaying that conversation about Juilliard that they’re bound to have sooner or later. Jaehwan would prefer not to have to deal with his problems for as long as he can. 

 

“Uhm….” Jisung eyes dart around, and Jaehwan takes that as a sign that the decision will be left in his hands. 

 

“Coffee then?” Jaehwan says as Jisung nods and slumps back against the cafeteria chair. Jaehwan takes that as a yes. “Okay then, I’ll be back.” 

 

Jaehwan can’t really blame Jisung for pressing him about his decision. After all, their future is on the line. However, Jaehwan just wants to feel some sense of normalcy in this things they call a relationship… If it can even count as one. Once he’s done paying for the coffee, he sighs. There’s no putting it off now. His eyes also dart around the area to see if there’s anyone looking at them. Luckily, there’s no one looking or heading their way. Then again, there’s a reason he chose this spot. 

 

“Here you go,” he says with a soft smile. “I asked them to brew it the way you like it.” 

 

Jisung squeezes Jaehwan’s hand gently before he accepts the cup. “Aaaaah, just the way I like it. Is that Juilliard emailing you?” 

 

Jaehwan looks up from his phone and shakes his head. “It’s just Sewoon. I’ll just text him back for a minute.” He ignores the way Jisung’s eyes are boring into his face. 

 

“Hmmm…” Jisung hums while Jaehwan is still texting Sewoon. “Just tell me if it’s getting too hard for you.” 

 

Huh? What’s getting too hard? His schoolwork? That’s the only thing that’s giving him trouble. “I’ll be fine. It’s a lot, but I’m coping.” He gestures to his music sheets. He sighs. “Now you mention it… I think I want to change the story. I’m thinking of simplifying—” 

 

“I was talking about us.” 

 

Jaehwan’s eyes go wide. Jisung has never sounded this serious or firm in all the times they’ve been together. Jaehwan’s hands begin to shake, and he’s not sure he understands where this conversation is heading. Maybe if Jisung keeps talking, it will make more sense to him, 

 

“I’ve thought about the consequences. That’s what I wanted to say.” 

 

Jaehwan sighs and rolls his eyes. He should have known this was going to happen sooner or later too. He made his decision ages ago, and he regrets nothing. He leans closer to Jisung. 

 

“You know what? I think you’re the one struggling here, and you’re just projecting it onto me.”

 

“It’s not like that,” Jisung says, reaching for Jaehwan’s hand. For once in his life, Jaehwan doesn’t squeeze his hands back. “I’m just considering the fact that you’re graduating in February, and you’re also finishing your thesis… Juilliard… I might be taking up too much of your time.” 

 

Jaehwan raises an eyebrow. Now Jisung thinks he took up too much of Jaehwan’s time? If Jaehwan were in a good mood, he would have laughed at how dumb that sounds. Jaehwan  _ chose _ to spend time with Jisung. It’s not like Jisung forced this whole thing on Jaehwan. 

 

“So this is definitely about Juilliard,” he says flatly. “Are we going to have to talk about this?” 

 

Jisung sputters as he reaches for his coffee cup. “It’s just that we’ve been like this for six months. It’s getting harder to hide our relationship. There’s so many mistakes in it…” 

 

Mistakes? Why did Jisung only think of all that now? Why not back when they first met then? Or maybe he had thought of them, and he just decided to be responsible now. 

 

“That’s it,” Jaehwan scoffs, nodding. “You’re the one who finds it difficult.”  

 

Jaehwan should have known that Jisung isn’t willing to fight for them when things get difficult. He knows that Jisung has many valid points, but Jaehwan was aware of the risks he was going to face when he agreed to date Jisung. He’s a consenting adult. It’s not like there was a gun on his head when Jisung asked him out. 

 

They both knew there were going to be difficulties, but Jaehwan wasn’t expecting Jisung to be the first to give up. Suddenly, Jaehwan wonders whether this is all even worth it. He can’t deal with Jisung right now. He’s no longer interested in what Jisung has to say. Jaehwan also doesn’t want to say things he doesn’t mean. 

 

“No, Jaehwan!” Jisung raises his voice a little bit. Jaehwan can only hope no one can see or hear them. “That’s not what I’m saying.” 

 

There are tears forming in Jaehwan’s eyes, but he refuses to let them show. He picks up his music sheets with shaking hands. He moves as fast as he can, thinking of what to say to salvage the situation. _Breathe, Jaehwan… Breathe…_

 

“No Jisung,” he whispers. “That’s exactly what you’re saying.” 

 

“Jaehwan, I—”Jisung reaches for his shaking hand, but Jaehwan pulls it back. He can’t deal with this right now. He picks up his bag and stands up. 

 

“I have to go. Sewoon’s looking for me.”   

 

Jaehwan shakes off Jisung’s grip. It feels cold without the warmth of Jisung’s hands, but it’s better this way. 

 

Jaehwan walks away and doesn’t dare turn back as the first tear falls down his face. 

 

* * *

   
Jaehwan smiles at he looks at his friends who are fooling around along the corridor. He offers up a prayer to God, thanking Him for bringing Ong Seongwoo, Kang Daniel, and Jung Sewoon into his life. Seongwoo and Daniel had found Jaehwan crying in one of the empty studios and called for Sewoon. Lucky for Jaehwan, none of them had asked why he was crying in the first place. If they ever ask, he can just chalk it up to school stress. They don’t need to know the truth.

 

Jaehwan and Sewoon have gone ahead to the theater where their next class will be held. They’re assigned to take care of sound effects for today’s lesson. They are perched somewhere near the wings of the stage while waiting for Daniel and Seongwoo to come back with the props. But there’s nothing to do yet, so Jaehwan had taken to crying out the last of his stress and anger into Sewoon’s shoulder. He’s now lying on Sewoon’s lap as the latter strokes the former’s hair.

 

“Daniel, why don’t you help Seongwoo with the lights for our next class?” Jaehwan asks as both Daniel and Seongwoo enter the theater to set up for their acting class. Seongwoo is carrying several props for the lesson, while Daniel follows from behind while on his phone.

 

“I’m texting someone!” Daniel says, waving his phone at them.

 

“Damn it, Daniel! Help me out here!” Seongwoo snaps as he almost drops some of the props.

 

“You can handle it yourself,” Daniel says as he pats Seongwoo’s shoulders.

 

“A little help would be appreciated, you piece of shit,” Seongwoo grumbles as Jaehwan and Sewoon stand up to help him. “Thank you, Jaehwan and Sewoon… You two didn’t have to, _unlike someone else in here._ ”

 

Jaehwan chuckles. “We might as well make ourselves useful while there’s no sound effects to make.”

 

Daniel lets out a soft whine. “You guys already used my I.D. to book the props and the lights.”

 

Sewoon chuckles. “Daniel, give the cord here… Jaehwan can take the smaller props. Daniel, help Seongwoo with the tree.”

 

How Daniel can piss off Seongwoo all the time without getting murdered is completely beyond Jaehwan. Then again, Daniel is the only person brave enough to even attempt to piss off Seongwoo.

 

On the other hand, Seongwoo still keeps Daniel around despite the latter constantly driving the former up the wall. Even Jaehwan and Sewoon need a break from each other sometimes, especially when they fight. Sometimes, Jaehwan suspects that Seongwoo enjoys the attention Daniel lavishes on him despite everything. He shakes his head as he starts setting up the miniature lights onstage.

 

“You keep complaining too much, Seongwoo… Here, at dance practice…” Daniel trails off, rolling his eyes at Seongwoo, who lets out a scream. Jaehwan winces because the theater helps make it sound louder than it should be.

 

“You know what Daniel? It’s such a shame…” Seongwoo snaps. He shakes his head before he continues. “You’re hot as fuck, but you’re such a dumbass. I was the one who had the forms signed right? I was also the one who booked the dance studio for thesis practice tomorrow. I was the one who—”

 

“Okay. Okay. You can stop yelling now,” Daniel says, putting up both hands once he’s done helping Seongwoo set up the tree. Turning to Seongwoo, he adds, “At least you think I’m hot.” He throws in a wink for good measure as both Jaehwan and Sewoon burst out laughing.

 

“ _God damn it, Daniel!_ ” Seongwoo shouts as he stamps a foot onstage. However, Jaehwan swears he sees a fond smile on Seongwoo’s lips as they watch Daniel reach for one of the lights.

 

Jaehwan doesn’t understand this dynamic at all. If Seongwoo insists on playing too hard to get, then Daniel can just eventually be bored and leave. However, Daniel is persistent… If they can keep each other around at their most annoying, then maybe they can survive as a couple? But the question is… Are there any sparks involved? Jaehwan sighs as he watches his friends.

 

“You’re all coming to see me busk at Hongdae later right? And we can have chicken and beer after?” Daniel says, turning to the three of them.

 

Jaehwan makes a face and shakes his head. “Sewoon and I have class until eight, remember? Don’t know if I can catch up for chicken and beer later. I have to finish shit.”

 

“I thought you’d go because — Nevermind.” Daniel groans before turning to Seongwoo. “I know you don’t have class after this, Seongwoo! Let’s go to Hongdae together.”

 

Seongwoo rolls his eyes. “I haven’t even said yes yet, and you’re already saying we go together. What kind of idiot are you?”

 

“We’re going!” Sewoon says with a bright smile. Jaehwan hopes his face conveys how betrayed he feels right now.

 

Seongwoo mock sighs. “Since everyone else is going, I guess I’m going too.”

 

Daniel cheers as he picks up Seongwoo and spins him around. Jaehwan and Sewoon laugh and do nothing despite Seongwoo’s protests of “Put me down, you overgrown puppy!”

 

“Hey, Jaehwan,” Sewoon whispers straight into Jaehwan’s ear. Jaehwan blinks as his giggles die at the seriousness of Sewoon’s tone. “You have to go. You and Jisung need to talk.”

 

“What did you say?” Daniel asks, peering at both Jaehwan and Sewoon. Apparently, he and Seongwoo have stopped fooling around. His eyes squint at them both.

 

Both Jaehwan and Sewoon stare at Daniel. Jaehwan’s not sure how where to begin, or even how to explain what Jisung has to do with this.

 

“They didn’t say anything, you nosy, dumb goof,” Seongwoo says with a sigh.

 

Thank God for Ong Seongwoo. Note to self: Treat Seongwoo to an extra serving of chicken tonight.

 

“Let’s just text them where we’ll be eating,” Seongwoo continues, rolling his eyes at Daniel. “I’m sure they’ll follow.”

 

Daniel sighs, turning to Seongwoo with his now-signature puppy dog pout. “Seongwoo, why are you so mean to me? What did I ever do to you?”

 

Seongwoo snorts at Daniel before charging straight at him. “Stop trying to act cute, Daniel. It’s not funny anymore. Wait. No. It’s never been funny.”

 

Seongwoo storms off to check on the lights while Daniel follows after him like a puppy. Jaehwan and Sewoon snort at the sidelines at the rest of the class comes in.

 

“I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I figured you didn’t need to answer Daniel,” Seongwoo whispers to Jaehwan as he passes by. “You owe me one.”

 

Jaehwan snorts. “Yes, I already made a mental note to treat you to extra chicken.” He grabs a hold of Seongwoo’s forearm before he can get away. “Thanks though. I’ll probably explain when I’m ready,” he adds, more sincerely.

 

Seongwoo shakes his head. “You and Sewoon don’t have to. It’s your business. I just don’t want Daniel getting himself into things he’d regret later on…”

 

“Thanks, Seongwoo. I mean it.”

 

“No problem, Jaehwan… Now I have to go check the lights!” Jaehwan nods and lets go of Seongwoo’s forearm.

 

On second thought, Jaehwan wonders whether Daniel and Seongwoo will even be good for each other in the long run. Sure, it’s entertaining to watch them argue, but is Seongwoo ready to always keep Daniel in line? And will Daniel be able to understand Seongwoo’s intentions? Jaehwan sighs as he heads over to the stage, where Sir Seunggi is about to explain today’s exercise.

 

“Class, today we’ll continue on establishing chemistry with your partners,” Sir Seunggi says once he’s sure everyone can hear him. “For this lesson, we’ll pick up from where we left off. Daniel, since you’re already here in the middle, and you haven’t had a turn the other day, you might as well be the first to go.”  

 

Daniel accepts the responsibility as he goes centerstage. “I need a partner though,” he says turning to Sir Seunggi.

 

Sir Seunggi looks around the room. Jaehwan’s not nervous because he and Chungha already had a go at it last week. Chungha even makes finger guns at him when their eyes meet. Jaehwan snickers when Sir Seunggi calls out his pick. “Seongwoo. You might as well have a go at it too!”

 

“But I’m not a girl!” Seongwoo says as he points to himself. “I already brought the props in here. Don’t torture me like thiiiiiis” Seongwoo throws himself at Sir Seunggi’s feet for dramatic effect. Jaehwan would have believed the tears in Seongwoo’s eyes if the latter weren’t double majoring in dance and acting.   

 

Sir Seunggi sighs, as if he’s too used to this. Gently prodding Seongwoo off his feet, he says, “Stop complaining and join Daniel in the middle.”

 

“But I’m in charge of the lights!” Seongwoo protests, gesturing to the remote in his hands.

 

“Jaehwan and Sewoon, I want the romantic music. Preferably something soft and acoustic…” Sir Seunggi continues as if Seongwoo isn’t making a scene.

 

Seongwoo stands up, but he moves to stand next to a giggly Nayoung and Sejeong. Jaehwan can’t blame the two girls. He catches Sewoon’s eye and they both snort at this turn of events.

 

“Sir, this exercise is supposed to be about chemistry right? Where’s my partner?” Daniel playfully asks, nudging Sir Seunggi.

 

Sir Seunggi blinks as he realizes that Daniel has no partner. “Seongwoo! I thought I told you that you’re pairing up with Daniel! Unless Daniel prefers someone else?”

 

Daniel shakes his head, as his smile widens. “Seongwoo’s perfect! Come here! Please?”

 

Seongwoo makes a face at Daniel from the side of the stage.

 

“Don’t Seongwoo and I look cute together, Mr. Lee?” Daniel asks, smiling at their teacher like there’s nothing wrong. Jaehwan snickers before joining in the jeers and cheers from the rest of the class.

 

“Someone man the lights for him instead,” Jaehwan says, smirking at Seongwoo. He’s not going to lie. He wants to see whether Daniel and Seongwoo can channel their bickering into some actual on-stage sparks. Off-stage is a completely different matter.

 

“On a scale of one to 10,” Sewoon whispers in Jaehwan’s ear. “How intense will the on-stage sexual tension between those two be?” Jaehwan lets out another loud snort at that.

 

“That’s not cute at all, Jaehwan. You too, Sewoon!” Seongwoo turns to glare at them both. “I thought you were my friends.”

 

“Come on, Seongwoo. Give the class what they want,” Sir Seunggi says. The twitching upper lip is enough indicator how amused he is with the situation. “Flirting onstage is acceptable. It helps the audience get invested in the narrative. BUT! Offstage, don’t do it. Flirting is just going to be a major distraction your studies.”

 

“Seongwoo, come here, please,” Daniel says, sounding serious for once in his life.

 

“Seongwoo, just go,” Jaehwan and Sewoon chorus. They turn to each other before exchanging high-fives.

 

“So you two are in on this too?”

 

Jaehwan simply smirks and shrugs at Seongwoo.

 

“Leave the lights to Nayoung and Sejeong,” Sir Seunggi continues.  

 

“Fine. I’ll go,” Seongwoo grumbles as Nayoung and Sejeong eagerly grab Seongwoo by the arms and drag him onstage amid everyone’s cheers and jeers. Seongwoo purposely stands as far away from Daniel as possible.

 

“Don’t be so shy about this, Seongwoo,” Sir Seunggi says with a soft sigh. “Come closer to Daniel. I swear. This tension between you two is so thick that it can be cut with a knife.”

 

Jaehwan wonders whether he should have played a little bit more hard-to-get back then. Maybe he would be less miserable now. Then again, he doesn’t have the same diva complex Seongwoo pretends to have. Jisung isn’t like Daniel who has the mindset of a child either. He sighs as he focuses on what Sir Seunggi is saying.

 

“... Chemistry, like everything else in life, isn’t automatic. Establishing chemistry between two performers is a lot like starting a relationship with someone,” Sir Seunggi says. “Think of your first meeting at practice as a first date. You observe what you like about a person, and work from there, right?”

 

Jaehwan nods, the discussion making sense. He’s not going to lie. He had also done that back when he and Jisung first talked outside class. He adored Jisung’s kindness, wit, and sense of humor. Jaehwan pinches himself when he realizes that he’s been smiling like a fool. Thank God he’s way up in the control booth instead of down there at the stage.

 

“When building both your onstage chemistry and a working relationship with your onstage partner, you build a relationship on trust, openness, and care. Just like in any kind of relationship, you need mutual trust, respect, and understanding toward each other in order to make your onstage chemistry work. CONSTANT COMMUNICATION is always important.”

 

Jaehwan blinks at the emphasis at constant communication, and he’s sure he’s not the only one who noticed it. Sewoon also glances back at him. Jaehwan sighs as he focuses back on the lecture.

 

“When performing with someone, even your crew, constant communication is important,” Sir Seunggi continues. “You all need to be on the same page all the time. You have to understand the way your partner is thinking, as well as how he interprets the material given to you both. Building chemistry takes time, that’s why there’s plenty of time to practice. It gives the cast time to bond and establish some sort of connection…”

 

Jaehwan has always been attracted to Jisung ever since they first met. However, he always felt like Jisung was out of his league and off-limits. However the fact Jisung made the first move was enough to convince Jaehwan that this was meant to happen. Jaehwan didn’t hesitate when he said “yes” to Jisung. Looking back, maybe Jaehwan should have thought about it more.

 

Despite all that time spent together, Jaehwan still feels as if he doesn’t know Jisung at all. Why would he even do this? Jaehwan sighs while he messes with the buttons for sound effects. Maybe he should have seen this coming, considering that both their commitments and dreams were bigger than themselves. Why did Jisung decide to be responsible now?

 

There’s no forever, no matter how hard Jaehwan tries to change things. Maybe… Jisung was right… But Jaehwan isn’t going down without one last fight.

 

* * *

 

Jisung’s last class finished early, so he opts to read the terms and conditions of the West End production (again) as he chills outside the campus theater. It’s not like he has anything better to do. He might as well look this over again. He can’t make any mistakes now that he’s so close to leaving too.

 

The door finally opens and Daniel stands out among all the students emerging out of the theater. Jisung looks up from his tablet and Daniel walks over to him with a smile. Jisung frowns when he sees that both Jaehwan and Sewoon turning toward the opposite direction.

 

“Ready to go?” Daniel asks with a wide smile.

 

“Where’s Jaehwan heading though? I thought he was coming,” Jisung asks, looking behind Daniel’s back.

 

“Jaehwan and Sewoon have class with Sir Hongki until eight,” Daniel replies, looking over at their general direction as they exit the theater. “They said they’ll follow later.”

 

Jisung sighs, as he prepares to approach Jaehwan and Sewoon. He would have moved, if not for Daniel standing directly in front of him.

 

“Not here, Jisung,” Daniel says as an explanation.

 

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE, DANIEL!” Seongwoo’s voice rings from inside the theater. “Help me out with these props!”

 

Daniel rolls his eyes as Seongwoo emerges, holding a giant tree. “Am I the only tall guy in here? Why don’t you get someone else to help? Youngmin and Jaehyun are right over there!”

 

“They already helped take the tree down, you big goof,” Seongwoo snaps.  

 

“Just help him, Daniel,” Jisung quietly says as both Jaehwan and Sewoon nod at him in thanks.

 

Jisung tries making eye contact with Jaehwan, who seems to be looking anywhere but at his general direction. Jisung sighs. This is going to be harder than it has to be…

 

“Fine, let me get that,” Daniel says as he takes the top half of the tree from Seongwoo, who smiles at Daniel in return. Jisung shakes his head. It’s like handling two children over here. One is overdramatic, while the other just likes getting a reaction. They both need to grow up, but Jisung thinks they’d be good for each other someday.

 

Jisung still puts up with bickering even as he does Daniel’s makeup and helps him with his outfit for his performance today. Seongwoo, who usually had an opinion about everything Daniel did, has wisely decided to remain quiet. Maybe it has something to do with Jisung being there. But Seongwoo is helpful when Jisung asks for it. He even has a few suggestions to help Daniel improve for his next performance… or his upcoming audition. Jisung even recommends a few talent agencies and theater groups for Seongwoo to check out as they help Daniel and his dance crew set up. Daniel’s performance ends sooner than he’d like, and before Jisung realizes it, they’re already heading to where they’re getting shit-faced tonight.

 

“Someone text Jaehwan and Sewoon where we are, please?” he says once they’re settled at a table.

 

“I’ll do it,” Seongwoo offers while Daniel orders their food and drinks. Something catches Seongwoo’s eye. Jisung sits up, thinking it’s Jaehwan. He slumps back in his seat when he sees it’s not Jaehwan and Sewoon. He can’t help but snort as both Daniel and Seongwoo visibly perk up when the bucket of beer is placed at their table.

 

Seongwoo takes three cans and opens them all. He gestures for Jisung and Daniel to take the other two. Lifting his own can, he adds, “I’ll go and say hi to my friends over there for a bit. I’ll be back.”

 

“Sure,” Jisung nods at Seongwoo as the latter excuses himself.

 

Daniel and Jisung only stare at each other while drinking their beer. Daniel finishes his before Jisung can even finish half.

 

“Want another one?” Daniel asks as he reaches for a second can.

 

Jisung shakes his head. “Maybe later. I still have this one.” He shakes his can a little to show that it’s not yet empty. He then checks to see whether Jaehwan and Sewoon have arrived, only for Daniel to snap his fingers in front of Jisung’s face.

 

“They’re not here yet,” he says. His lips are twitching upward, but he’s doing his best to hide his amusement. “You’re with me, remember? Don’t act too excited.”

 

Jisung squints his eyes at Daniel before giving him a finger.

 

“Drop the attitude. It’s so off-brand,” Daniel snaps. “What exactly happened?”

 

Jisung groans as he puts his face in his hands. He pulls at his face, feeling his hands slip downward before they land on his lap.

 

“God damn it, Daniel,” Jisung groans. “You already know the answer. I already apologized, right?”

 

Daniel clearly isn’t going to stop. “Do you love him?”

 

Jisung glares at Daniel in the most offended way he knows how. That question doesn’t need much thought. “Of course, I do.”

 

“Does he love you back?”

 

That’s a hard one. “Maybe.”

 

Daniel sighs. “Did you even say ‘I love you’ to each other?”

 

Fuck. He should have known Daniel was going to ask that. Jisung just shakes his head.

 

“So you two decided to start something without saying you love each other? In this economy?!” Daniel asks raising an eyebrow. “When were you planning to tell him?”

 

“After graduation… I think?”

 

Daniel takes a swig of his beer. “What were you planning to achieve out of it?”

 

Jisung sighs as he takes a small sip of his beer. “I don’t know… Closure... I guess. We weren’t sure what was going to happen when this started. I didn’t expect to be in this deep.”

 

Daniel snorts and rolls his eyes. However, the shit-eating grin on Daniel’s face is enough to have Jisung gripping his beer can more tightly than he should.

 

“Have you two had sex yet?”

 

Jisung’s eyes bug out and his jaw drops as he hears the question. He even leans closer to make sure he heard Daniel correctly.

 

“Have. You. Had. Sex. Yet?” Daniel repeats, emphasizing each word.

 

Honestly, Jisung isn’t sure whether he’s more scandalized by the fact Daniel had the guts to ask the question, or the very nature of the question itself.

 

Daniel must take his silence as confirmation because he starts cackling that he almost falls off the chair. Jisung would worry, but he’s too busy trying to drink his shock away.

 

“What kind of a question is that, you pervert?” Jisung asks when he finds his voice. “I ought to call your mother in Busan so she can wash your mouth with soap!”

 

Daniel doesn’t relent. He’s still laughing, gasping for air. “Daaaamn. Get it, Jisung!”

 

“Fuck you, Daniel,” Jisung deadpans as he gives Daniel another finger.

 

“Wow! Oppa~ Notice me please!” Daniel says in a fake girly voice. Jisung ends up kicking him under the table. It still has no effect, other than Daniel dropping the faked feminine voice. “Lee Dongwook and Gong Yoo are shaking!”

 

Jisun waits until Daniel is done laughing before he decides to put an end to Daniel’s fun once and for all.

 

“No, we haven’t, you fucking dipshit. We haven’t even kissed yet!”

 

Daniel’s jaw drops at that before he cackles some more. “WEAK SHIT! And here I thought you had some game!”

 

Jisung rolls his eyes. “Jaehwan and I just happened to agree that sex was out of the question.”

 

Jisung decides to drink more of his beer while Daniel laughs his lungs out.

 

“You done yet?” Jisung asks once Daniel has sobered up from all that laughing.

 

“Real talk though. What’s the plan?” Daniel leans closer to Jisung. “What do you want to do now?”

 

Jisung sighs. Playing dumb is the safer way to go, for now. “About what?”

 

“You should have just waited until Jaehwan graduated, you know?” Daniel asks, pointing his beer can at Jisung. “If he really loves you like you think he does, he’d find a way to make… whatever it is you two have work.”

 

Jisung has heard enough, so he puts up both his hands for Daniel to stop talking. “I just want to talk to him for now. That’s all, okay?”

 

“I just hope you already know what to do once you’re done talking,” Daniel says. “You need to make a choice.” Daniel takes another sip of his beer. When Jisung says nothing, he takes that as a cue to continue. “You’re just delaying the inevitable. It’s hard for you. It’s hard for him too…”

 

For all the years Jisung has known Daniel, the former never expected the latter to be a voice of reason. After all, it was always Jisung who guided Daniel away from the path of questionable life choices. How ironic that Daniel is returning the favor after all these years. He chuckles and shakes his head.

 

“Thanks, Daniel,” he says, for once feeling the smile in his voice reach his eyes. “I needed to hear that.”

 

Daniel shrugs. “Anytime… Anyway… Jisung?”

 

Jisung looks up. “Yeah?”

 

Daniel smirks at him. “Define dumbass. DUMB-ASS.”

 

Jisung chuckles while taking another sip of his beer.

 

Daniel looks up from where he is sitting. “Looks like you have to decide soon.”

 

They both look at the door, and they see Jaehwan and Sewoon enter the bar. Jisung moves to stand up, but Daniel pulls him back down. “Let Seongwoo and me talk to them first. You and Jaehwan just might end up getting us all thrown out. Stay here, Jisung.”

 

Jisung watches as both Daniel and Seongwoo greet Jaehwan and Sewoon. He doesn’t have to wait long as he sees Daniel point out where their table is.

 

This is it… There’s no turning back.

 

Jisung smiles at the two newcomers. “Here! Have a seat!”

 

Jaehwan shakes his head. “Hey, Sewoon, do you mind holding my guitar?” Jaehwan gently puts down the instrument. The way he handles the instrument is a stark contrast to the sharpness in his tone. “I’ll just get us some more beer. Is that okay with you?”

 

Sewoon reaches over to take the guitar when Jisung protests. “Nah. You two stay here. I’ll do it.”

 

“No. I’ll do it,” Jaehwan says as he pushes past Jisung. Sewoon only nods in apology as he follows after Jaehwan.

 

Jisung groans to himself. Why does Jaehwan have to be so difficult? He follows after them, hoping that no one takes their stuff.

 

“Jaehwan,” Jisung says when he catches up to them at the bar. Jahewan simply ignores him and goes on talking to Sewoon. Jisung sighs and shakes his head.

 

“Jaehwan? Can we talk? Please?”

 

Jaehwan finally lets out a loud sigh. “Excuse me for a bit, Sewoon.” Jisung lets out a sigh of relief as he follows Jaehwan back to their table.

 

Jaehwan smiles politely at Jisung as they sit across each other. “So, what did you want to talk about?” The pleasant smile on his face is yet another stark contrast to the venom in his voice.

 

“I apologize for the way I acted earlier,” Jisung says with a sigh.

 

When Jaehwan’s only indication of a response are a nod and a raised eyebrow, Jisung takes that as he cue to keep talking. He has to get everything out of his chest.

 

“I was being childish and unfair to you. I just suddenly realized so many things today… Rather, I’ve known these things for a while, but I only admitted them to myself today. I… I know I’m the only one causing us problems… ”

 

Jisung expected many possible, but Jaehwan bursting out laughing was not one of them at all.

 

“Oooh! I like that line!” Jaehwan says once he’s done laughing. “Maybe I should include it in my script. I could have my male protagonist Mooyoung say it?”

 

Okay. That clearly didn’t go as well as he expected.

 

“Oh yeah! Can I ask you to help me about my script? I just printed a draft before coming here. You might want to read it,” Jaehwan continues, as he fishes his script out of his bag. “I also wrote another song! Can you let me know if the lyrics are okay?”

 

Jisung just blinks as Jaehwan puts the script down and flips to a certain page. “I’m having Mooyoung’s love interest sing this one!” Jaehwan says. Jisung watches as Jaehwan sings the lyrics he came up with.

 

“Even if you don’t say it, I know. So don’t try to give any kind of explanation. I want to hold onto you, but I won’t. If I can smile, I will.”

 

Jaehwan cringes at himself when he’s done singing. “Ugh. It’s too much isn’t it?” he asks with a snort. “I’m actually thinking of just playing piano and a few guitars to highlight the resignation and sadness of the lyrics. What do you think?”

 

Jisung sighs. He knows where Jaehwan is getting at, but he’s already made his choice. He dares to look at Jaehwan straight in the eyes. “I just want the best for you. I’m just thinking of what’s right for us,” he says. “It’s just not the right time for us to be together.”

 

Jaehwan blinks at him and smiles. It’s not the genuine smile that Jisung is used to seeing. This one feels rather forced, as it doesn’t meet Jaehwan’s eyes at all.

 

“I have to go, Jisung,” Jaehwan says. His voice is shaking and Jisung can see tears beginning to form in his eyes. “I still have to finish my script and record a few more songs. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Jaehwan.” Jisung says as Jaehwan packs his things and picks up his guitar.

 

“I still have to go book one of the recording studios for tomorrow. I need to finish all these songs,” Jaehwan adds as he fights his way toward the door.   

 

“Jaehwan. Please!” Jisung says as he fights among the crowd to get to Jaehwan. They need to end this on civil terms. This can’t just be it for them both…  

 

“Jaehwan!” Sewoon moves to follow both Jaehwan and Jisung out the door. “Jaehwan! Wait!”

 

“Sewoon, don’t!” Daniel says as he and Seongwoo grab him by the arms.

 

Daniel shakes his head at Sewoon. In return, Sewoon glares at Daniel, as he struggles to get out of their grip.

 

“You said it yourself earlier, Sewoon,” Seongwoo sighs. “They need to talk. Alone.”

 

Sewoon sighs before turning to Jisung. “Solve this.”

 

Jisung nods in gratitude at the three before chasing after Jaehwan.

 

* * *

 

  
Jaehwan has to give Jisung props for his persistence. Even when Jaehwan had run, Jisung still chased him. Jaehwan thinks he could have gotten away more easily had he used his brains and actually hailed a cab instead of ran away. Jisung manages to catch him at the train station, and Jaehwan finally surrenders. To be fair, this was a long time coming, and Jaehwan was just delaying everything. He was holding on to everything for as long as he could.

 

“I was planning to tell you about Juilliard when I got the acceptance letter. I just didn’t know how to break it to you,” Jaehwan whispers as soon as the they’re settled in the train. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier… But you’re right, Jisung. Keeping this up is just going to be more difficult for us both in the long run.”

 

Jisung shakes his head with a small smile. Even when he has every right to be mad at Jaehwan, Jisung is still too good to him. Since Jisung already said his piece at the bar earlier, this time, it’s Jaehwan’s turn to say everything he’s been thinking and planning.

 

“I’m already working on my requirements for the master’s program at Juilliard,” Jaehwan whispers. “And then you also have West End.”

 

Jisung sighs. “I haven’t decided on the West End role yet.”

 

Jaehwan’s eyes grow wide. “You haven’t?”  

 

“Five years is a long time, you know.”

 

“That’s your lifelong dream, right?” Jaehwan frowns. Something’s missing here. Has he been holding Jisung back all this time?

 

“Yeah, it is.”

 

Jaehwan smiles at Jisung. “I thought it was your dream to perform at the Savoy Theatre?”

 

Jisung chuckles. “You’re forgetting King’s Cross Theatre…” he adds. “You’re also going to have a field day cheering for Manchester United…”

 

Jaehwan punches Jisung in the arm. “Excuse you! I’m loyal to Real Madrid!” The audacity of this man…

 

“I was just messing with you,” Jisung chuckles as Jaehwan rolls his eyes. When will Jisung ever learn?

 

“You should go,” Jaehwan says with no heat in his voice. This is an opportunity Jisung would be stupid to let go of.

 

To his surprise, Jisung sighs and shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it a bit more. It’s a serious commitment, after all.”

 

They say nothing else for the remainder of the train ride. Jaehwan puts on his headphones and plays his music. He should have known this is the ending they’d get. He keeps changing things over and over again, but this is the only result possible. Before they realize it, they’re already at their stop. Jaehwan isn’t sure what he wants to happen next. At this point, they usually say goodbye and go their separate ways.

 

“I’ll walk you home… For one last time?” Jisung says with a gentle smile.

 

“Sure. I’d like that.”

 

It’s weird not to reach for Jisung’s hand. Jaehwan has to get used to this somehow. He’s already started paving his path and he has made his choices. It’s now time to live with them too. He has no idea what to say to break the awkward, yet peaceful silence. Thankfully, Jisung seems to be on the same page as he is.

 

“What are your plans while you’re doing your Master’s at Juilliard?” Jisung asks with a soft smile. “You’re already in New York. You might as well jumpstart your music career.”  

 

Jaehwan shrugs. He hasn’t thought that far yet. He was actually hoping for some suggestions. “I don’t really know yet,” he admits. “I just know I want to be involved with music. Singing, composing… It doesn’t matter. I guess I’ll find out what else I can do when I get there.”

 

“You should. You have the skill to make it in the industry. I have a few friends who’ll be happy to help you if you ask.” Jisung’s assurance and validation warms Jaehwan’s heart.

 

They arrive in front of Jaehwan’s dorm building, and a gust of wind greets them. Leaves fall from the nearby tree. Jaehwan squints at the leaves while Jisung chuckles fondly.

 

“Do you remember what I told you about falling leaves?” Jisung asks.

 

A light bulb goes off in Jaehwan’s head. Oh right! Jisung did mention something about falling leaves once…

 

“Get ready, Jaehwan. They’re coming.”  

 

Jaehwan lifts his hands in the air to catch the leaves as they fall. He’s lost track of how many he’s caught before turning to Jisung. “We probably look like a pair of fools out here,” Jaehwan chuckles.

 

“If you catch a falling leaf, what would you wish for?” Jisung asks.

 

Jaehwan already knows the answer to that question. He has known the answer for ages. This is the only answer he can give.

 

“Hey, do me a favor?” Jaehwan whispers, his voice shaking.

 

“Yeah?”  

 

“Please do West End.”

 

Jisung says nothing as he takes Jaehwan’s hand and squeezes it. “Thank you, Jaehwan.”

 

Jaehwan blinks as he finally allows all his pent-up emotions to show. At this point, he has nothing else to hide. He’s laid it all out on the table. He has nothing left to give.

 

Jaehwan turns away and marches toward the entrance of his dorm building.

 

* * *

 

Jisung follows Jaehwan inside, all the way up to the unit he shares with Sewoon. He watches as Jaehwan just dumps half the things on his bed to the floor before climbing on it. How Sewoon can put up with this is a complete mystery. Jisung picks up one of the music sheets that had fallen. Jisung stares at it for a few minutes, trying to figure out whether Jaehwan let him listen to this or not. Based on how crumpled the music sheet is and the fact that it was buried among Jaehwan’s clothes, Jisung isn’t sure whether this was something Jahewan just forgot about or he purposely hid from view. 

 

“What do you want with my rejected musical score?” Jaehwan asks as he turns his head to Jisung. “Come.” He pats whatever space is left on the bed for Jisung to sit. 

 

Jisung shrugs and obliges. “Is this really a rejected score?” 

 

Jaehwan snorts. “Yeah. I cried about it for weeks, in case you forgot.” 

 

Jisung allows himself a snort at that one. Jaehwan tends to get melodramatic about his compositions. Then again, Jaehwan was working on his Juilliard application when he sent this one. It was one of the more stressful times of his life. 

 

“Ugh, I’m exhausted,” Jaehwan mutters as a yawn punctuates his sentence. 

 

Jisung reads the rejected music sheet again, trying to figure out what Jaehwan was trying to do with this particular score. “Looking at it again, I now remember why I told you it was a bad idea,” he says with a chuckle. Despite Jaehwan’s grumbling he continues. “For what it’s worth, the last score you let me hear is way better than this hot mess.” He waves the music sheet for emphasis. 

 

Jaehwan says nothing, but Jisung feels the bed shift a little bit. Jaehwan has his back to Jisung now. Jisung bets that Jaehwan did that just to roll his eyes. 

 

“Your sister posted another selca this morning,” Jaehwan says flatly. “You’re right. It’s beginning to get annoying.” 

 

Jisung snorts. He should have known Seulgi was going to be a pain in the ass sooner or later. “I don’t have a sister.” 

 

There’s a gentle kick to his side. “Idiot.” There’s a short pause before Jaehwan continues talking. “You work on not talking too much, okay?” 

 

It’s Jisung’s turn to roll his eyes. “I’ll try my best.” 

 

Jisung feels the bed shift again, and this time Jaehwan is facing him. “Thanks for seeing me home.” 

 

“Sure, no problem,” Jisung says with a small smile. Jaehwan yawns, despite his best efforts to hide it. “Are you sleepy, Jaehwan?” 

 

“No, I’m just on energy-saving mode.” 

 

“Go to sleep,” Jisung says with a sigh. 

 

“I can’t,” Jaehwan says with a sigh. “I still have a lot to finish.” 

 

Jisung sighs again. He should have known. Jaehwan tends to stay up late trying to finish his schoolwork or any song that has been bugging him. 

 

“Anyway, I’ve been thinking…” Jisung says with a sigh. He might as well make the most of this. He doubts he’ll ever get to be with Jaehwan like this again. 

 

Jaehwan shifts in bed. “I hope your head didn’t hurt from thinking too much.” 

 

Jisung rolls his eyes. One of these days, he swears they’re going to roll off his head. “Anyway, I was wondering…Why did it have to be us?” 

 

Jisung knows Jaehwan understands what he’s trying to say. Why did we meet? Why did we have to do things the way we did them? Why did we end up like this?  _ Why did it have to be you? _

 

Jaehwan stops moving and sighs. “Do you regret it?” 

 

That’s an easy question to answer. “No.” Now, Jisung has to know… “You?” 

 

“I don’t. Jisung, I— nevermind,” Jaehwan sighs. “I was just going to say something stupid anyway.” 

 

Jisung decides not to pry.  “If you insist…” Half of him wants to know what Jaehwan wanted to say, but he knows better than to force Jaehwan. He thinks he knows what Jaehwan was trying to say, but he’s also not to sure. Even if it is what Jisung thinks it is, this is still how things will have to end. 

 

Jaehwan just chuckles, wiping his face with the back of his hand. 

 

“For the love of God, Jaehwan, I’ll wash your face before you sleep,” Jisung says, rolling his eyes.

 

Jaehwan just snorts at him, but he doesn’t move from his spot on the bed. 

 

Jisung sighs and makes his way to Jaehwan’s bathroom. He retrieves a facial wipe from the dresser. He turns Jaehwan over and wipes Jaehwan’s face with it as gently as possible. Luckily, Jaehwan doesn’t put up a fuss and lets himself be groomed. When he’s done, Jisung throws the facial wipe in the trash bin before he lies down beside Jaehwan. They hold hands as they stare at Jaehwan’s ceiling decorated with Pokemon stickers. Jaehwan had complained that the prior resident put them up there, and he was just too lazy to remove them. Jisung thinks they’ve grown on Jaehwan, but the latter isn’t going to admit it. 

 

“Don’t you have to go home?” Jaehwan whispers. “You might be late for class tomorrow.” 

 

Jisung sighs. “Give me five minutes.” Five more minutes to hold Jaehwan like this before they exit each other’s lives forever. This it. It’s Jisung’s chance to say what he should have said all those months ago when they started dating. 

 

“Jaehwan, I—” Jisung shakes his head. It’s too late for that now, isn’t it? What good would it do for him to tell Jaehwan? It’s the end. It’s not going to change anything. Some things are probably better left unsaid. “Forget it.” 

 

Jaehwan is the first to let go as he rolls over to his side. Jisung looks over to see that Jaehwan has closed his eyes. “Don’t sleep yet. I still have three minutes.” 

 

Jaehwan says nothing, but he presses his lips together as he shifts further away from Jisung. “Don’t you have to go?” Jaehwan’s voice is shaking, a tell-tale sign he’s holding back his tears. 

 

“Don’t cry.” 

 

“I’m not crying,” Jaehwan snaps.

 

Jisung might as well get this over with. The longer he stays here, the harder it will be for him to leave. 

 

_ Step One: Move. _

 

Jisung sighs as his hand slips out of Jaehwan’s. It’s surprising how easily Jaehwan lets go this time. Jisung blinks. This really is the end, huh? He stands up from the bed and gets his bag. 

 

_ Step Two: Say Goodbye. _

 

“Bye, Jaehwan. I’ll see you.” 

 

Jaehwan says nothing as they stare at each other. 

 

“Don’t cry, Jaehwan.”  

 

“Sleep, Jaehwan.” Jisung firmly says. He has one hand on the doorknob. “Don’t stay up too late.” 

 

“Okay,” Jaehwan says, his voice sounding like a sob. 

 

“Okay,” Jisung whispers as he turns the doorknob. He looks at Jaehwan for one last time. “Sleep.” 

 

Jaehwan says nothing, and Jisung didn’t expect anything else. 

 

_ Step Three: Walk out the door. _

 

As Jisung takes the first step out of Jaehwan’s bedroom, the light blinds him. He focuses on the front door, ignoring his shaking hands. Jisung has to do this for them both. Jisung sighs as walks out the door and out of Jaehwan’s life. He can only hope that the next person Jaehwan meets is able to treat and love him better than Jisung ever could. 

 

Jisung shifts, turning back toward the door. Maybe he should have said what he wanted to say. But he shakes his head. Even if he said the words, the ending was still the same. No matter what they did, the ending was always going to be the same. 

 

Jisung shuts his eyes before turning his back away from the door. He has to go. Jisung has no idea, but he manages to walk out of the dorm building. Once he’s outside, the inhales the cold winter air and smiles at the sky.  

 

“I hope you’ll be happy.” 

 

* * *

  

Jaehwan bolts straight out of bed to secretly watch Jisung leave his unit through his door. Once Jisung exits the front door, Jaehwan sits back on his bed. He tries sleeping like Jisung asked, but his eyes and mind refuse to cooperate. Although there’s a deadline looming over his head, that’s not what’s holding him back from dreamland.

 

It’s going to be difficult to face Jisung when they see each other at school after this. Besides, it’s at night time when Jaehwan is most productive. It doesn’t really matter anyway. There’s just this script he has to finish before he can call himself a free man. He has other requirements to do before finals later on this month, but none of them are as demanding and as tedious as this musical.

 

There are piles and piles of papers on Jaehwan’s desk, which have extended over to his piano at the side of the room. These are all sheet music with half-completed lyrics and scratched out music notes. There are too many words in these papers, too many ideas Jaehwan wanted to express. However, he felt like none of them were good enough for his final project. Jaehwan sighs as he pulls the nearest music sheet closer. It’s the same music sheet Jisung picked up earlier. He sighs as he looks at this particular sheet with new eyes for the first time in weeks. His fingers trace the words he had scratched out too vigorously. Jaehwan sings the tune he had written under his breath, and he can finally hear what Jisung meant about it being a bad idea for the first time.

 

When Jisung first asked him out, Jaehwan had said yes because it felt right. Jisung had always made him feel like he was special and that his thoughts mattered. Jisung didn’t dismiss him or make fun of his attempts to broaden his knowledge and understanding of music. Jisung made him feel like he had found his match. Thinking about whether he wanted to date Jisung hadn’t been necessary. Looking back, maybe he should have thought of things a little bit more before he said yes. Jaehwan tries not to snort at himself. Unless it’s something to do with his future and his studies, Jaehwan tends to be the type to just go for things when the moment feels right.

 

Maybe he should have said something when he had the chance. There was just never a right moment to say what he really wanted to say. Even until the time he mustered up enough nerve to say the words, Jaehwan still lost his nerve. What difference was it going to make if he said them? It wasn’t going to be enough to convince Jisung to stay.

 

Jaehwan sighs to himself as he presses another key on the keyboard. Jisung already made his choice; so did Jaehwan. All he can do is just live with the consequences and hope to they’re both happy. That’s all he can hold on to at this point.

 

_This will be the last time he'll live in my memories._

 

Jaehwan scribbles another note on his music sheet before he allows himself to smile for the first time that night. Suddenly, the ending that he once couldn’t figure out suddenly took shape and made itself known to him. It all makes sense now.

 

* * *

  

Jisung arrives to school alone the next day. It feels particularly weird not talking to anyone when he enters the school gates. Whoever said silence was calming lied. They probably never experienced loneliness and having to bear the weight of a major decision alone. It’s been easy talking to Jaehwan every morning for the past six months, and this is probably the first time that Jisung arrived to school alone and silent. However, Jisung made his decision. He shouldn’t have any regrets. He chose his fate.

 

Jisung enters the office of the dean of the performing arts department. After all, he had made his decision (along with some help from Jaehwan and others). He is going to London. He just needs one last step before he’ll be free to go.

 

“I was waiting for you to come and see me,” Dean Jung says as as Jisung takes a seat. “People wouldn’t stop talking about you getting accepted by a theater group that performs at the West End.”

 

Jisung chuckles. He should have known that the Dean was bound to hear of this somehow.

 

“Anyway, I’m glad you made a wise decision and will be taking the opportunity,” Dean Jung says with a smile. Jisung frowns. He hadn’t told the anyone what he decided yet, but he supposes it’s a lot easier this way.

 

“You need my endorsement, right? That’s why you’re in my office isn’t it?” Dean Jung says with a smile.

 

Jisung nods. This is a lot easier than it had to be. He’s not going to lie. Dean Jung is intimidating, no matter how nice and wise he is to everyone.

 

Dean Jung leans closer. “Unless there’s something else you’d like to tell me?”

 

Jisung frowns. “Not that I know of…” he trails off, staring at Dean Jung. What on earth is the man talking about?

 

Dean Jung leans back against his chair. “There’s been some gossip going around,” he says staring Jisung straight in the eye. “I was hoping you’d know about it, considering you’re friends with almost everyone in here. Humor me, Jisung. I’m getting old. Nothing exciting happens in here anymore.”

 

Jisung holds back a snort. This dean and his liking for gossip. Jisung can’t with him sometimes. “Other than Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo’s usual drama? Nothing new as far as I know…”

 

Dean Jung sighs. “I guess it’s really out of your radar… Maybe people were just spreading fake news... ”

 

Jisung tries not letting his relief show. It’s not like many people knew about Jaehwan and him. Besides, even if that’s the case, it’s a dead ship now. He can always deny things if people start talking about them.

 

“If there’s nothing else, you can expect my endorsement letter by tomorrow,” Dean Jung says as he stands up. “I’m honored to vouch for someone like you, Jisung. Intelligent, talented, and honorable.”

 

Jisung feels himself want to shrink at the dean’s praise. “Thank you, Dean.” Jisung says as he stands up too. “I hope to make you proud.”  

 

Jisung gets out of the office just in time for the first bell to ring. He makes his way around campus, toward his first class. He avoids everyone’s gaze, probably trying to penetrate into his head. Of course they’d be staring. No doubt they’ve all heard all sorts of rumors about him by now. People spreading those rumors can go see themselves at the Associate Dean for Student Affairs’ office.

 

Jisung has five minutes to get to class before the second bell rings. He breaks into a sprint, running toward his classroom. He glances at his watch as he checks his reflection on his phone. To his relief, he doesn’t look like he ran from the opposite side of campus to get here. He schools his face into a pleasant smile, before he opens the door to the classroom.

* * *

   
“How you have the nerve to complete your script the night before it was due is beyond me.”

 

Jaehwan rolls his eyes and ignores Sewoon in favor of staring at the giant printer that was printing the pages of his final project. Jaehwan would have printed his paper at home, but his printer overheated half-way through the job before it completely gave up on him this morning. He had gone to Sewoon’s place to print his paper there, but Sewoon was also printing his paper and ran out of ink. They both had no choice but to rush to the most student-friendly printing press they frequented in times of need.

 

“You’re one to talk,” Jaehwan snaps back, his eyes still on the pages coming out of the machine. There’s no malice to it and Sewoon’s unbothered expression shows he understands. “Who was the one who revised his entire composition hours before it was due again?”   

 

“You, me, and majority of the class.”

 

“But you, my friend, are a legend. You did everything in one day.”

 

“An experience I never want to repeat,” Sewoon replies as he eats his ice cream.

 

Jaehwan listens to the machines hum as they print his work, along with whatever else they’re working on. He shakes his head when Sewoon offers him some of the ice cream.

 

“Now I know something’s going on,” Jaehwan says with a chuckle. “You don’t just offer your ice cream like that…”

 

Sewoon chuckles. “I just wanted to check how you’re doing since… you know.” Sewoon gestures around vaguely, since Jaehwan’s breakup isn’t something they’ve talked about yet.

 

Jaehwan sighs. He knew they were going to have this conversation sooner or later. Jaehwan supposes it’s better they do it now, while there’s no one else who can overhear them.

 

“It’s not what I expected break-ups to feel like, you know?” Jaehwan says with a sigh. “It helps that the last few days were just writing and revising days, so I didn’t really have to come to class and see him.” It’s still difficult to say _his_ name.

 

Sewoon makes a face. “Are you ready to face him now though?”

 

Jaehwan chews at the bottom of his lip. He thought it was an easy question, but he was mistaken. “I don’t know… I thought I was, but now the time for us to see each other again draws nearer… I just… I just want to run back home and hide,” he admits. Turning to Sewoon he adds, “Can I hide at your place in Busan?”

 

Sewoon snorts before hitting Jaehwan on the head. “Fucking idiot.” But he lowers his voice as he comes closer to Jaehwan. “Think of it as ripping out a band-aid. The faster you do it, the less it hurts.”

 

Jaehwan sighs. “Easy for you to say.”

 

“Trust me. I’ve watched dramas. Prolonging the agony just makes everything worse than it has to be!”

 

“Dramas? Really? Sewoon?”

 

Sewoon stares at Jaehwan. “Other than dramas, I’ve been there. The whole get it over with thing, I mean…”

 

Jaehwan blinks, looking at Sewoon as if seeing him for the first time. “What is this? How come I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about?”

 

“I’ll tell you someday,” Sewoon says with a smile Jaehwan doesn’t understand. “You’ll know eventually. If I ever feel ready to talk about it

 

Jaehwan whines as he grabs Sewoon’s arm. “Sewoon! I thought I was your best friend? Why don’t I know this?!”  

 

Sewoon laughs as he pries Jaehwan’s arm off him. “If it makes you feel better, you’re the first I’ve hinted to about it.”

 

Jaehwan rolls his eyes. “Fine. I’ll take what I can get.”     

 

Sewoon nudges Jaehwan when a staff member approaches them. “Oh looks like our scripts are done.”

 

Jaehwan tries not to be so obvious about it, but he lets out a huge sigh of relief when the staff manning the printing press finally hands them both fully formatted, neatly printed, and perfectly bound scripts.

 

“I took that class a few terms ago, under that same teacher,” the staff explains with a chuckle as Jaehwan hands him the payment. “I know how he gets about formatting. I hope it’s okay that I fixed some stuff.”

 

Jaehwan nods. “You, my dude, are a life-saver. He’d probably kill me later if you hadn’t. Thanks!”

 

Jaehwan’s eyes grow wide when his eyes glance at the clock hanging above the staff’s head. He thanks the staff member one more time before pulling Sewoon out of the shop. They only have 15 minutes to get to class before they’re marked late. They only have 20 minutes before the professor locks the door, preventing any latecomers from attending class. Ugh, why did they have to take a class under a professor who’s so fussy about attendance? To make matters worse, they’re at the opposite end of the campus right now.

 

 _Shiiiit._ Jaehwan and Sewoon run for their lives. Despite some help from the on-campus bikes, they barely make it to their department building in time for the second bell to ring. Their classroom is on the third floor, and there’s no elevator to get there. Jaehwan thanks God for all his football training as he sprints up the stairs like his life depends on it. He will submit this script on time. He poured too much of his heart and soul into that thing, and his god-damned professor will appreciate it.

 

By the time Jaehwan and Sewoon make it to the third floor, they have a minute before they got locked out. They’re already late as it is. Jaehwan runs with all the speed and strength he has, pulling Sewoon along as they yell at everyone to get out of their way. Jaehwan yanks the doorknob open and the force he applies into opening the door overpowers him that he slides all the way in, with Sewoon huffing and puffing from behind him.

 

Jaehwan ignores all the eyes that land on them. He can’t blame the entire class either, since he’s always been more discreet when he came in late. He sheepishly closes the door in stark contrast to his entrance, purposely avoiding his classmates’ gazes as he walks up to the teacher’s table.

 

“You’re late, Mr. Kim, Mr. Jeong.”

 

“Sorry, I’m late,” Jaehwan says in between gasps for breath. He then slowly pulls out the musical script he had oh-so carefully printed and placed it on the teacher’s table, followed by the flash drive containing his song recordings. Jaehwan looks his teacher in the eyes.

 

“Here’s my musical script and score, Mr. Yoon.”

 

* * *

  
Jisung only lets out a sigh of relief as he dismisses his last class for the day. He retrieves his bag from the department office, where the other teachers invite him out to drink. Jisung shakes his head, gesturing to the pile of scripts he has to grade. Junmyeon makes a sympathetic face at him before heading out with some of the other teachers. 

 

There are many scripts for Jisung to grade, but there’s one he’s not sure he wants to see. He’s not sure he’s ready to read it yet. Maybe by the time he finishes the other papers, he’d be too numb to read it. He puts it inside his bag, opting to grade it when he goes home instead. 

 

_ This is going to be a long night. _

 

Jisung purposely becomes more meticulous when grading the scripts and the scores, because he just wants to delay the inevitable. It would be unfair to the others in class if he doesn’t dissect their scripts like he eventually will with the one he refuses to touch. He didn’t get his reputation for being a strict professor out of nowhere. He wins either way: he doesn’t have to grade that script he set aside at once, and the other students’ material get more attention. However, even that has to come to an end. 

 

_ I guess it’s time to face the music.  _

 

Jisung sighs as he musters the courage to pick up the only unmarked script in his bag. Jaehwan’s. “The Story of Us That Never Was.”  _ How ironic. _ Jisung shakes his head as he reads through the script and listens to the accompanying demos for the songs. 

 

Jaehwan’s script and his music tell the story of two people. One had the ability to travel back to the past and change things, while the other had the power to see the future. They loved each other, but they weren’t meant to be together. No matter what the person with the power to change the past did; the person who saw the future always saw the same ending. Jisung chuckles as he goes along. Time is the primary theme of his narrative and Jaehwan’s accompanying music supports this as the tracks take Jisung to several periods in time. 

 

Time… This is what both he and Jaehwan lacked. They met and caught feelings at the wrong time. Six months into a relationship was too long for those who knew about them; however, it was too short a time for both Jaehwan and Jisung to truly know each other. Hell, like he told Daniel, they’ve never even said they loved each other in those six months. 

 

Like he said to Jaehwan the night they broke up in Jaehwan’s room, Jisung doesn’t regret meeting and loving Jaehwan… He doesn’t regret having to end it at this point either. Jisung loved Jaehwan. He is sure of that. Did Jisung think he had a future with Jaehwan? Maybe. It would have been nice, but with where their paths are taking them… Jisung isn’t sure if it’s possible. 

 

Maybe they both of them knew that they didn’t exactly have a future together. That’s probably why they took a leap of faith back then. If Jisung can go and change time, he isn’t sure at what point he can make any changes.  

 

_ It’s better to regret the things you’ve done than the things you didn’t do…  _

 

When listening along to Jaehwan’s self-composed tracks, the first few pieces are mellow, laced in with tension. At the climax of the play, Jaehwan starts belting out high notes in the songs as the music takes a turn toward rock ballads. Jisung fondly shakes his head. It’s a style Jaehwan was particularly fond of, releasing tension that hits the audience right in the heart. 

 

If there’s one thing about Jaehwan that Jisung will never forget, it would be his ability to tell stories with his voice and his words. Even the moments Jaehwan falls silent speak volumes to Jisung. Perhaps it’s because this particular story hits too close to home that Jisung understands what Jaehwan is trying to say. Jaehwan incorporated too many conversations they’ve exchanged and inside jokes they shared in this script for this not to be their story. 

 

Jisung then gets to the finale, when, despite both protagonists’ attempts to change their fate, the outcome remains the same. The time traveler returns to his current time, forced to let go of a love that ends up leaving. The final song begins to play, Jisung finds himself nodding along to the song. To his surprise, Jaehwan also deviated from the acoustic or rock theme the rest of the songs in the musical have. Instead, Jaehwan opts to take the finale piece in a tropical house direction. When Jisung said trying tropical house, it was supposed to be a joke… What did Jaehwan inhale to actually take him seriously that time? 

 

He will analyze Jaehwan’s musical direction choices; most likely after he’s had something stronger to drink. Maybe he should have gone with the rest of the teachers after all. Perhaps grading this script would have been easier had he been too shit-faced to care. But even then, Jaehwan’s effort deserves to be graded properly. He sighs as he writes a few more comments on the edges of the page. 

 

Jisung can barely hold back a snort as he listens to Jaehwan’s attempt to rap. Why didn’t he just let someone more proficient at it do it for him? It’s not bad, if Jisung’s going to be objective about it. He has to give Jaehwan props for trying to get out of his comfort zone. He has no idea where Jaehwan got the idea to rap the song himself, since it never came up during consultations. The other songs in the script also had rap parts, but Jaehwan had clearly either begged or bribed Daniel to rap in those songs. What possessed Jaehwan to do it himself in this one?

 

This song is evidently meant to stick out from the rest of the musical. Unlike the rest of the songs which consist of what he has expected from Jaehwan — steady melodies and consistent instrumentals — this one has uncharacteristic beat drops with the instrumentals that have become Jaehwan’s signature style. Jisung drops his pen as he examines the accompanying lyrics. Now he reads the lyrics again. 

 

This arrangement sounds familiar, now that he listens to it again. He goes over all the emails he and Jaehwan have exchanged before he finds the file he’s looking for. It’s the same arrangement he had disapproved and had made Jaehwan cry over a few weeks ago. The difference is that this one started at a much better place than the original one Jaehwan submitted. The correct beginning is important for anything to be able to develop further. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for his relationship with Jaehwan. He supposes they started too early, or maybe it was too late. Jisung sighs. Either way, it wasn’t the right time. They were doomed from the start. Jisung snorts. Of course this is how it ends. 

 

Jisung’s eyes blur at the song’s climax, while Jaehwan’s voice belts out “I let you go.” 

 

Now that this is the end of them both, it’s the beginning of the rest of their lives. Maybe he should have said what he truly wanted to say that night in Jaehwan’s bedroom. Just so he can say it, like he had originally planned. Jaehwan deserved to hear the words Jisung was never brave enough to say. 

 

There’s an extra emphasis on the last line. Jisung’s hands shake as Jaehwan’s voice sings the words, as if he’s saying them straight to Jisung’s soul. 

  
“The words that hovered around deep inside, I love you.  _ I love you. _ ”

 

\- 3 0 - 

**Author's Note:**

> \- The title was taken from a local indie film this entire story was heavily inspired by.  
> \- This is a fic I’ve wanted to write for a long time, and I felt that the prompt fit this perfectly.  
> \- Teacher-student relationships are a tricky topic to deal with, and I tried tackling it as carefully as possible.  
> \- Before anyone asks, yes, the songs Jaehwan sings in this fic are Wanna One’s “Spring Breeze,” Nell’s “Let’s Part” (aka the prompt that brought this fic to life), and of course Produce 101 S2’s “Never.”  
> \- I would like to thank everyone who helped make this fic possible. To my Olymfics team, to the KFic discord (for all those wordsprints that allowed me to power through), and to both my friends B and Y who have agreed to read it over before I was done.  
> \- Please don't forget to rate this fic using [this survey!](https://forms.gle/mDcvm9LTb61d8LnGA)


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